Motivation Monday: Practicing Kindness = More Sleep

I do not claim to be a parenting expert.  I don’t prescribe to an absolute theory or method.  I go mostly by my intuition, assessing results, and making the necessary adjustments.

I repeat this process many times.  Many, many times.

But the one thing that I feel that I am doing right is telling my kids to practice kindness.

I don’t like telling them to be nice because if they aren’t nice, then it is implied that they are bad.  And I am just not comfortable with that.

So instead I say, “Practice kindness.”  Sometimes you nail it, sometimes you don’t.  And as the wise Happy Monster Band says, “Practice makes progress.”  You can just try again.

I am going to take my own advice and practice kindness towards myself, which is my theme for 2014.

I totally push myself all the time – to keep my blog afloat, to keep my teaching deadlines, to keep my mental and physical health in check, to be present for my kids.  And I love the feeling of fitting it in – it is an adrenaline high for me.  But that adrenaline high only lasts so long.  And once it is quickly gone, I am tired and wished I had been gentler with myself.  Yet being kind to myself is always last on my list.

Well, kindness and sleep.

In January, I am exhausted, lost in a haze of balancing holiday madness and everyday stuff.  I usually just power through and fight the urge to rest.  But this January, practicing kindness means making sure I get enough sleep.  Nothing trips up my perspective more than not getting enough sleep.  Ironically, it is the first thing I cut when things get hectic.

This month, I am going to make sleep a priority.   That will probably mean more hat days and less makeup, and I am totally OK with that.  I am really looking forward to seeing how I feel after a month of being well rested.  Because I seriously can’t remember what that feels like.

Do you have a theme for 2014?  Do you have any goals that you are working on? I’d love to hear about them.

2013: A Year in Review and New Year’s Eve Thoughts

Christmas is over, and I (barely) survived.  Every year I say that I am not going to let myself get burnt out from the season, and every year I end up stumbling around in my jammies until all hours of the day wondering what the hell just happened.

In addition to some holiday drama, there were a few things that made this Christmas season especially challenging.

We sold our home.

We moved into myparents’ house.

We moved into our newhome.

We celebrated 10 years of marriage.

The kids have had some trouble adjusting to all of the newness.

I also started a new job and created 2 new courses which made me realize that I am no longer a full-time stay-at-home-mom.

I presented at the Rochester Writers’ Conference.

I’ve been on Live in theD Moms’ Panel.

Basically, 2013 was all about transition.

Most of these things are wonderful opportunities for which we are grateful. But I am not going to lie; it was a lot of hard work.  It wasn’t like we waved our magic wand, and suddenly we had a new house or a new course appeared.

We pushed ourselves in a lot of ways, and I feel proud of what we accomplished, but I am exhausted.

Exhausted.

And in the face of all this pushing, I can tell you that I was not very nice to myself. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt as I figured out working part time mostly from home.  I felt responsible for Marie’s difficult transition.

So as I figure out what I want to do for resolutions for next year, I have decided to go with a theme for 2014, which was inspired by The Huffington Post Healthy Living post.

I originally thought “strength,” but that sounded more fitness orientated.  Then I thought “joy,” but I thought that sounded too generic.

Then, as I was folding laundry after going grocery shopping and managing the kids with their screen time, I was struck with this thought: I need to be more kind to myself.

Maybe that looks like sleeping in instead of going for that run.

Maybe that looks like going for that run instead of chilling in front of the TV.

Maybe that looks like cooking a really delicious meal or maybe it is getting take out.

Being creative makes me happy so I think I will finally devote some time to learn how to make iMovies and do that BritCo Skill Share workshop that I signed up for in December.

Being kind to myself requires me to be present and really listen to what I need rather than what I think I can push myself to do.  And that, in and of itself, is a challenge for me. 

I feel that our family has been through a lot of changes, and we could all benefit from a focus on kindness.

Yes, kindness is my theme for 2014.

What are your goals for 2014?  Do you have a theme?  Or are you more of a resolution person?