This day, 10 years go, I was getting ready to go to our wedding.
Which means I have been married for 10 years.
Which would mean I would have known Harrington for 14 years.
Our lives look nothing like they did 10 years ago. A lot has happened. New jobs. New kids. New home. Our life has evolved. And each change presented it’s own set of challenges and speed bumps.
Ten years ago when I married Harrington, I knew I wanted kids and a house to grow into. But I often wonder, at the tender age of 25, how the hell did I know this was going to work.
The short answer is I didn’t.
The long answer is I knew we loved each other, and at the time, that was good enough. As our lives unfolded, that love was the foundation for support – I supported his choices; choices in new jobs, choices for networking opportunities that took him away from the family, choices to recharge such as hockey. And he supported mine; to be a full-time SAHM, going to the gym, blogging, and a brief, yet intense scrapbooking phase.
That support built a layer of respect for each other and our unique roles in our family.
Now my role is changing a bit since I am no longer a full-time stay-at-home-mom. Sometimes I doubt this choice, as if I broke my promise to Harrington and if I am being honest, broke a promise to myself.
When I start to become overcome with guilt or confusion, he encourages me. His cheerleading efforts range anywhere from making sure I’m well hydrated by brining we water as I slave over grading assignments to emptying the dishwasher to taking his shift with the kids.
In those moments I realize how this whole marriage thing works for us. We are a team. And he wants me to be me.
Creating a space for each of us to evolve as we grow older – that is the truest love of all.
Like I said, each stage brought it’s own set of issues. In the beginning of our marriage, to say that I *may* have had some trouble with compromise would be an understatement. Bringing kids into the picture, although incredibly awesome, was not easy, either.
But now that we made it through some hard stuff (harder than they early fights of what brand fish sticks to buy and what grocery store to go to), I feel more confident in us as a couple. Do I think we will not endure any more difficult encounters? Absolutely not. However, I do feel more confident in our ability hold tight during those bumps in the road rather than pulling off to the side and asking to get out of the car.
Yesterday, my parents brought us cake and a bottle of wine for our anniversary. My mom said, “This is just the beginning,” as my dad nodded in agreement.
I totally believe this to be true. And I can’t wait to see where the next ten years takes us.
Happy Anniversary, Harrington.
I love you.