To Thomas on Your First Day of Kindergarten

Thomas started Kindergarten this week.  Three years ago, I wrote Marie a letter on her first day of Kindergarten which Huffington Post Parents just picked up!  I would love it if you clicked on over and let me know what  you think.

__________________________________________________

Dear Thomas,

Today is your big day; today you start Kindergarten.  I feel excited for you because in my heart, I know that you are ready.  Your preschool teachers told me with full confidence that you are ready both socially and academically.

These observations delivered peace to me since I pretty much doubt every parenting choice I have ever made (except that time I bought you a bunch of mini maze books on Amazon to keep you entertained in restaurants and car rides.  You pretty much refuse to do anything that requires you to hold a crayon . . . except for those books.  So I felt pretty solid on that decision).

Your sister probably has very different memories of her time leading up to Kindergarten since she had me all to herself. 

You, my dear, did not get a lot of alone time with me.  This is the default of any child other than the firstborn.  But I also started to dabble in blogging, writing, and social media when you were a baby.  As a new career started to gain traction, my time was fractioned even more and my mom guilt began to grow.

When you stepped on that bus, I was not worried about whether you were going to make it in Kindergarten.  I was worried about if I did my best with you.

Will you look back and feel cheated during all the times we sat in front of the TV together, me on my computer and you on your iPad, while I graded assignments and squeezed in writing time?

Will you be sad when you think of all the times I phoned it in while playing Imaginext characters since I am the worst pretend play mom in the ever?

 Or will you remember the fun crafty things we did together like spell your name with Cheerios or the time you got to play with marshmallows while learning how to add?

Or will you remember all the fun times we played I Spy when I took you out for macaroni and cheese with a yummy dessert at Panera every Thursday after gymnastics?

I am not sure what memories will stick (or which ones you might share with your future therapist).  Sometimes I think back on the time we spent together, and I am proud of all we did.  Other times I look through the years leading up to your first day of Kindergarten with guilt-laden glasses and think I could have done more.

As you got on that bus, I prayed that the Universe will be kind with you.  Having been a member of the Universe for about 36 years and teaching in public schools for some of that time, I know that this might be too much to ask.  So I hope that I have filled your bucket enough that you feel loved and special regardless of any misfortune that may happen to you.

As you depart for this new journey, know that I love you deeply and you can tell me anything, ANY.THING. (even that you decided to throw your lunch away because you were too busy talking to your new friends to eat peanut butter and celery).

Love,

Mommy

A Week of Firsts

This week was a week of firsts.  And let me tell you, it has been a flurry of activity.  So , today’s post will be brought to you by Instagram and this awesome new app I am obsessed with called Heyku. 

Marie’s first day of 2^nd grade:

I drove her to school per her request.  I stood in line with her.  Until she didn’t want me to stand next to her.  Until she changed her mind and slipped her hand into mine and whispered in my ear that she was a little nervous.  I would be lying if few tears didn’t well up in my eyes as I left the school parking lot.

The next day she took the bus.  Her first time on a new bus was successful!  I was inspired to write this Heyku:

All was well, until it wasn’t.  Here is my Facebook status that was inspired by the first time Marie got on the wrong bus and the school had a difficult time finding her:

I learned a few important lessons that day. But that is a different blog post.

Because I chose not to freak out and quietly implode after she was delivered home safely, I wrote this Hayku after everyone was safe in bed:

If you have been reading my blog or following me on Twitter or Facebook, you know I’ve been busy putting together a new course on social media. Today was the first day of class.  I had a hard time sleeping since I was nervous so I decided to express myself in a HeyKu.  Naturally.

Here I am on the morning of the first day of class.  

Thanks to the great filters and industrial strength makeup,
you don't see the circles and chin acne that sprouted overnight.

   I actually put on real clothes and drove on the big, scary expressway during rush hour traffic to a building I’ve never been to in a city I don’t know very well.  Oh, and the class went very well, too.

Someone else had a big day today, too. 

Thomas went to his first day of PreK 4.  He rocked the first drop off – like a boss.  He sat right down on the carpet and didn’t look back.  

Of course this could all change next week, but I am thankful that at least the first day went well.  It made it easier for me to enjoy my cup of coffee.  In silence.  Doing whatever I want.  Especially eating a cookie the size of my face without having to share.

How was your first week back to school?  Happy?  Sad?  Mixed emotions?

To Thomas: On Your First Day of Nursery School

Dear Thomas,

Today you start your very first day of Nursery School.  You woke up today so excited that today was The Day.  While we waited for the bus to come pick up Sissy this morning, you proudly told everyone, “Today I go to *my* school.  All by myself.”  And in case the people could not glean the excitement from your voice, you jumped up and down which communicated your statement in bolded, all caps and exclamation points.

Around lunchtime, as we were getting ready to leave, your energy shifted.  You became upset that you couldn’t eat your lunch at school.  I couldn’t tell if you were truly upset that you couldn’t eat your lunch at school, or if it was a diversion from actually going to school.  Daddy magically got you to come to the table and eat your lunch.   I reminded you that I packed the pictures of us in your backpack in case you missed us.  You looked up with those blue eyes and asked if your baby doll, Baby Jammies, could come with you.  I told you, “Of course.”

On the way drive to school, you were quiet.  I asked if you were scared, and you said, “I not scared.  I told you.  Just nervous.”  Pretty articulate for such a little boy.

Which makes me feel confident that you are going to be fine in school.  In fact, I think you are going to be better than fine.  You are going to be terrific!  You have such a great way of communicating your feelings.  You not only use your words, but you use your whole body and face. 

You also know all of your colors, letters (and their sounds), and numbers up to fifteen.  And last week, when I was meeting your teacher, I saw how you listened to her and were not swayed by those who were having a hard time sitting still in circle time. 

All your nervous feelings melted away once we got to school.  You were back to being excited.  I watched you as you hung up your backpack by your symbol that you chose last week and went to find the monster trucks.  No tears.  No nothing.

Today is The Day!

Thomas, you are going to rock nursery school this year!  Since you already have a lot covered before you even began school, I just want to tell you this:  that little voice that tells you right from wrong – listen to that.  Always.  We are going to be apart for four hours a week, and you won’t be able to look at me with those part curious, part mischievous eyes for an answer of what you should or should not be doing.  Listen to that little voice, and remember to always practice kindness.  There are a lot of people out there that don’t value the importance of kindness.  Give those people space because they like to make everyone around them feel small and sad. 

And you don’t deserve that.  You deserve to be around kind people that shine from in the inside.  Just like you.  You have an amazing light that shines from you.

My wish is for you to always have that light that shines from within.

I love you forever,

Mommy

To Marie: On Your First Day of First Grade

Dear Marie,

Today is your first day of first grade.  You’ve been wanting to go back for weeks now, and today is the day.  You are so excited that you have been making a fact book about London and Olympics for your teacher since watching everything Olympics (including past highlights from Beijing and Greece) was one of your favorite things this summer.

You are ready.

And you are going to rock.

To say you have a handle on reading and writing is an understatement.  Seriously, you could read, write, and create all day if I didn’t ask you to break for meals.

So here’s the thing –

Being smart and loving school is such an awesome thing, but don’t ever estimate the value of kindness.  You deserve to be around people who treat you kindly.  And on the flip side, remember the importance of practicing kindness to others.

Remember that girl who said she was your friend one day and then not the next?  Give her another chance this year.  People can change, especially if you haven’t seen them in a while.

But if she pulls these shenanigans again?  Give her the space she needs to figure out what being a true friend is all about.  You don’t deserve that kind of drama.  Ever.

Now, I can’t be there to whisper all these little things in your ear.  But in all honesty, you don’t really need me there because you, Marie, you have an amazing moral compass.  You know right from wrong.

But just keep this one very important point in mind: don’t be afraid to follow your instincts because you fear you might get in trouble or don’t want the attention.

Forget fear.  Just forget it.

Follow your gut, even if you must stand alone.  This is not easy, but let me be clear: fear will dim your light and hid the real you.

And the real you is far too beautiful to be hidden.

Let your light always shine.

 I love you forever,

Mommy

To Marie, On Your First Day of Kindergarten

Dear Marie,

This is it; your big day. I know that you are going to *rock* Kindergarten.  I have felt pretty certain of that since you were a baby.  At less than a year old, I saw your spirit emerging during those countless physical and occupational therapy sessions.  I remember when Marge said that you probably wouldn’t walk until you were two.  I also remember when Melissa said that you would have hard time writing and using scissors because you would not have the stamina.

Not only are you running and jumping and dancing, you are swimming. 

Writing stories is one of your favorite things to do, right along with making collages from old photos.

You showed them.  And not in a loud, demonstrative kind of way either.  You don’t make a production out of it.  You just do what you have to do in an unassuming way . . . yet with the fiercest sense of determination.

Simply said, you are a do-er that perseveres during difficult times and pays no attention to the negativity of naysayers. 

Quite a life lesson to be learned at the tender age of five, if I may say so myself.

Even though you are wise beyond your years, I want to tell you a few wishes that I have for you this year. 

You are special.  You deserve to surround yourself with friends that are kind.

Stay away from the drama of the mean girls.  Some people have a hard time believing that they are special, and therefore, they try to bring others down with them.  Just keep your distance.  Believe me, it’s not worth it.

Do your best and know your best is not the same every day. Please be kind to yourself when you are having a bad day.

Understand that no matter what, NO MATTER WHAT, you can tell me anything, and I will always love you.  ALWAYS.

You have amazing instincts: follow them.

Although it’s hard for me to believe that you will be going to Kindergarten, I am so excited to see all the wonderful things you will experience this year.  This may be the end of the baby /toddler/stay-home-with-me days, but it’s just the beginning of your amazing life.

I love you.

Love,

Mommy