To Thomas on Your First Day of Kindergarten

Thomas started Kindergarten this week.  Three years ago, I wrote Marie a letter on her first day of Kindergarten which Huffington Post Parents just picked up!  I would love it if you clicked on over and let me know what  you think.

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Dear Thomas,

Today is your big day; today you start Kindergarten.  I feel excited for you because in my heart, I know that you are ready.  Your preschool teachers told me with full confidence that you are ready both socially and academically.

These observations delivered peace to me since I pretty much doubt every parenting choice I have ever made (except that time I bought you a bunch of mini maze books on Amazon to keep you entertained in restaurants and car rides.  You pretty much refuse to do anything that requires you to hold a crayon . . . except for those books.  So I felt pretty solid on that decision).

Your sister probably has very different memories of her time leading up to Kindergarten since she had me all to herself. 

You, my dear, did not get a lot of alone time with me.  This is the default of any child other than the firstborn.  But I also started to dabble in blogging, writing, and social media when you were a baby.  As a new career started to gain traction, my time was fractioned even more and my mom guilt began to grow.

When you stepped on that bus, I was not worried about whether you were going to make it in Kindergarten.  I was worried about if I did my best with you.

Will you look back and feel cheated during all the times we sat in front of the TV together, me on my computer and you on your iPad, while I graded assignments and squeezed in writing time?

Will you be sad when you think of all the times I phoned it in while playing Imaginext characters since I am the worst pretend play mom in the ever?

 Or will you remember the fun crafty things we did together like spell your name with Cheerios or the time you got to play with marshmallows while learning how to add?

Or will you remember all the fun times we played I Spy when I took you out for macaroni and cheese with a yummy dessert at Panera every Thursday after gymnastics?

I am not sure what memories will stick (or which ones you might share with your future therapist).  Sometimes I think back on the time we spent together, and I am proud of all we did.  Other times I look through the years leading up to your first day of Kindergarten with guilt-laden glasses and think I could have done more.

As you got on that bus, I prayed that the Universe will be kind with you.  Having been a member of the Universe for about 36 years and teaching in public schools for some of that time, I know that this might be too much to ask.  So I hope that I have filled your bucket enough that you feel loved and special regardless of any misfortune that may happen to you.

As you depart for this new journey, know that I love you deeply and you can tell me anything, ANY.THING. (even that you decided to throw your lunch away because you were too busy talking to your new friends to eat peanut butter and celery).

Love,

Mommy

On Kindergarten Graduation

Dear Marie,

You did it.  You have graduated from Kindergarten!

You have learned a lot: to recall plots of a story in great detail, write complete sentences, not to mention adding and subtracting.  You are lucky to have had a teacher that recognized your potential and worked with it.  She gave you assignments based on your level, and you rose to the occasion.  She helped you to blossom.

You also read Have You Filled Your Bucket?  in your Kindergarten-Plus class.  I am so glad your teacher saw the value in that book because it gave us a way to talk about behavior, in a productive way.  Remember that girl who passive-aggressively manipulated your snack away from you?  We were able to talk about that without perpetuating the bullying.  You were able to understand that her behavior was about her, and not you.

You learned how to ride the school bus and eat your lunch in the lunchroom.  One may take these steps for granted, but it’s not easy to maneuver around the social landscape.  You hit a few bumps, but we tried to keep your bucket full and give space to those who were dipping into yours.

I am proud of you and all that you learned.  But most of all, I am proud of the person you are becoming.  I see this incredible person who is empathetic, knows the importance of kindness, has a witty sense of humor, and is incredibly creative with language and art.  I have no doubt that your intelligence will open doors for you, but it’s your self-awareness and your compassion towards others that will make your mark in the world.

As I always say, let the light always shine bright in your eyes and may you always find peace and happiness.

I love you forever.

Mommy

What Do You Think Thursday with Skinny Scoop: Do You Think All-Day Kindergarten Should Be Mandatory?

Big new hit my local community: All-Day Kindergarten will be . . .

Mandatory.    

As of now, it’s pretty much up to the parents to decide if their child will attend all-day or half-day.  Not all schools offer Full-Day Kindergarten, some only offer Half-Day, and some school have a K+ program that students can attend in addition to their half-day class (for a price).  But as of next school year, it’s not a choice if you are planning on sending your child to public school.

This is huge decision, and many parents are not only super fired up about it, but they are also quite divided on the subject.  I wrote a post for Macomb Patch that answers this question:

View this question on Skinnyscoop

Please leave a comment either here or at the MacombPatch.  I would love to hear what you have to say about it.  I would also be interested in hearing what Kindergarten is like in your community.

Have a great Thursday!

What Do You Think Thursdays with The Skinny Scoop: The School Bus

This first week of school? Is exhausting! I am feeling totally fried. Fried! I fell asleep at 9:30p.m. because I was completely exhausted. Which sounds awesome, but I woke up six hours later ready to start my day. If you do the math, that would be 3:30a.m. So I was totally ready for my 5:45a.m. walk, but crashed by 11:00a.m. Yikes.



Please forgive me if this post is not coherent. I am treading water here to keep from sinking.



Originally, this post was going to be about our upcoming Disney trip, but the unexpected came up this week, and I just need to talk about this.



Actually, unexpected is an understatement.



On Tuesday, I was feeling good about Kindergarten. I drove her to school. I watched her go in to school. I was there when she got out of school. I did so well (after a month of crying, of course). Marie did so well. When she got out of school, her eyes were all twinkling! She did so well, in fact, that we had not even stepped foot into the parking lot when she looked up at me with her big, blue eyes filled with excitement and proclaims, “I want to take the bus tomorrow!”



What?! The bus!! Seriously?



I feel that I made peace with putting her in full-day Kindergarten three times a week because it would be good for her; she needs to be more challenged and is craving social interaction. Thomas needed some one-on-one time, too. Everyone was winning from this situation.



But the bus?!



The only people who have driven my baby girl are me, Harrington, my parents, and my mother-in-law.



The bus?!



It has no car seat! I used to be a teacher – crazy shenanigans happen on the bus!



But I let her. Even though it was pouring rain outside and my insides were churning.



And she loved it.



Today at the bus stop, she wistfully looked at the other kids playing at the bus stop. She looked up at me again, with those eyes, and said, “Mind if I go play with my new friends?”



Bravely and over enthusiastically I said, “No, no! Go play! Yea!”



I could hear the presenter in my head say, “And the Academy Award for Best Performance in a Drama goes to . . . Erin!”



Poor Thomas was all confused by his big sister hanging out with these older kids and not standing by him. He tried to fit in by acting like Surg from Toy Story, but his humor was lost on this bunch.



Bottom line: She loves the bus. I hate the bus.



But I am letting her go because it’s my issue. I am the one with very horrible memories of my limited time spent on the bus. Not her.



And because she is Kindergarten, she has to sit in the first two rows and the dreaded Danger Zone at the back of the bus.



So what do you think of the school bus? Be sure to click on The Skinny Scoop survey below. I’d also love for you to tell me your opinion in the comment section.

View this question on Skinnyscoop

To Marie, On Your First Day of Kindergarten

Dear Marie,

This is it; your big day. I know that you are going to *rock* Kindergarten.  I have felt pretty certain of that since you were a baby.  At less than a year old, I saw your spirit emerging during those countless physical and occupational therapy sessions.  I remember when Marge said that you probably wouldn’t walk until you were two.  I also remember when Melissa said that you would have hard time writing and using scissors because you would not have the stamina.

Not only are you running and jumping and dancing, you are swimming. 

Writing stories is one of your favorite things to do, right along with making collages from old photos.

You showed them.  And not in a loud, demonstrative kind of way either.  You don’t make a production out of it.  You just do what you have to do in an unassuming way . . . yet with the fiercest sense of determination.

Simply said, you are a do-er that perseveres during difficult times and pays no attention to the negativity of naysayers. 

Quite a life lesson to be learned at the tender age of five, if I may say so myself.

Even though you are wise beyond your years, I want to tell you a few wishes that I have for you this year. 

You are special.  You deserve to surround yourself with friends that are kind.

Stay away from the drama of the mean girls.  Some people have a hard time believing that they are special, and therefore, they try to bring others down with them.  Just keep your distance.  Believe me, it’s not worth it.

Do your best and know your best is not the same every day. Please be kind to yourself when you are having a bad day.

Understand that no matter what, NO MATTER WHAT, you can tell me anything, and I will always love you.  ALWAYS.

You have amazing instincts: follow them.

Although it’s hard for me to believe that you will be going to Kindergarten, I am so excited to see all the wonderful things you will experience this year.  This may be the end of the baby /toddler/stay-home-with-me days, but it’s just the beginning of your amazing life.

I love you.

Love,

Mommy

What Do You Think Thursdays with Skinny Scoop: Full-Day Kindergarten

In five short days, my first born, my sensitive, sweet, extremely bright little girl will starting *gulp* Kindergarten*.

My emotions are a giant mixed-up grab bag:

Yes! She is going to have so much fun!
No! She’s going out into the scary world without me!
Yes! More me time and time with Thomas!
No! I am going to miss her!
Yes! She needs more social interaction!
No! I don’t want her to get hurt!
Yes! She needs more than I can give her!
No! I am going to miss her!

Whew! That ping pong match is exhausting, right? And to add another component to this conundrum, I had to decide whether or not to have Marie go to school all day. Our district offers a program called K-Plus, which is an extension of Kindergarten. The kids go to half-day Kindergarten and then go to K-Plus (or vice versa depending if they have morning or afternoon Kindergarten). You can also choose anywhere between 3-5 days a week to attend this program. In K-Plus, the kids have lunch, go to specials, and review more thoroughly the lessons learned in the regular Kindergarten class.

My first thought: “Absolutely not!” Kindergarten is supposed to be only a half day. Period. Marie is supposed to come home with me, and we’ll spend the rest of our day together before she goes to first grade.

My second thought: “Hmmm. Marie has trouble with transitions. That whole having lunch at school a few days a week might be good way to help her transition into first grade.”

I know my Babe. Transitions are hard for her. If I can have her go to school all day for a few days a week to get her ready, that might make next year easier for her. Going to lunch and adapting to different teacher’s routines will be good for her.

Also, this girl *craves* learning. She is already reading long books (think Golden Books or unedited versions of Disney Classics). I don’t know where to go from here. I could probably figure it out, but I have another one that needs my attention, too. On many different levels, it hurts to say this (and will probably have its own blog post soon), but she needs more socialization and direction with her education than I can give her. And Thomas is craving more attention now than ever.

So I am putting my selfish need of wanting her around and doing what’s best for her.

This is just another instance in which I have learned the importance of flexibility. I have these ideas of how I want life and parenting to go, yet I constantly need to reassess the situation and move forward in the appropriate direction.

With a box of Kleenex in hand.

What do you think about full-day Kindergarten?

View this question on Skinnyscoop

*I checked everywhere, and I could not get a clear answer if “Kindergarten” should be capitalized or not. I apologize if I should not have capitalized it.