Whole Living 28-Day Challenge: The Stress Log Assignment

Alternatively titled: Finally, Something I Can Do Without Feeling Like a Big, Fat Failure!

Here’s another update of the Whole Living 28-Day Challenge. (And in case you missed my report of the first day, read this). We have to keep a stress log of all the things that stress us out. Clues to this would be muscles tightening, breathing quickly, etc.

At first, I thought, “How silly! Of course I know what stresses me out! I’m a vent-er, not a bottle-er.”

And then I remembered last year when I woke up and couldn’t open my mouth because I had been clenching my jaw so tightly at night.

And then there was the time I broke out in a huge rash, and the dermatologist asked me if I was allergic to anything. I giggled nervously and answered, “My life.”

He didn’t laugh.

And then there’s all the times my mother tells me to stop hunching my shoulders up all the time.

So, OK, there may be a *few*things that get me all keyed up.

Instead of droning on and on and on, I think it can be boiled down to one word: relationships.

Nothing stresses me out or makes me loose more sleep than relationships.

I’ve discussed my mission here many o’ times about personal boundaries and healthy relationships.

And for the most part? I am doing better. Much better.

But it still stresses me out because I think I assume too much responsibility. Not in a I-want-to-control-EVERYTHING-I-will-make-this-work kind of way. More in a relationships-are-important-to-me-I-want-them-in-my-life kind of way.

So the issue lies somewhere between what I want and what people are able to give.

So this year? This is the year I make peace with that issue. Because my goal is to find more Happy. And I can’t find Happy if I am still hanging out with Frustration and Disappointment, now can I? And even though Frustration and Disappointment are not fun to hang out with, breaking up with them is hard. Remember that boyfriend that you knew was no good, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to make the break official because you rather be miserable than be alone?

Well, I know miserable. And miserable can, in the wise words of Kathy Griffin, suck it!

But this kind of change takes time and a lot of work. So thankfully, this challenge has built in some time for yoga and breathing. Hopefully, by the end of the twenty-eight days, it will be a new habit.

And besides, when I take a good look around, I’m not really alone.

So let me ask you: What kind of misery are you hanging on to? What do you do to find happiness?

Things I Have Learned About Myself Thanks to the Whole Living 28-Day Action Plan

Alternatively titled: How I’d Cut a Bitch for My Afternoon Cup of Coffee

So I am trying the Whole Living 28-Day Action Plan. It addresses eating whole foods, exercising, and mental well-being.

I shopped for Week 1. It took me over 2 ½ hours. At two different stores. But because I am not easily deterred, so I persisted.

I made three meals on Sunday to kick off the week. My kitchen looked like this:

Yikes, right?

Guess what?  All those pots and pans needed to be washed, too.
Aside: Does that new stove look sharp or what?!

It does not look tasty, and I didn't clean up the bowl
before I took the picture.  But this Amond Chicken
Soup was awesome!  And everyone liked it.

Again, I am not quitter. I drank that hot lemon water. Twice. Like it was my job.

Monday, I drank only one cup of coffee in the morning. I was eating the little meals all day. I drank herbal tea when I wanted my afternoon coffee or a glass of wine at night. I ate The Millet Bowl. I even ate millet with honey and sunflower seeds for breakfast today.

And then it happened.

The shakes.

The cold sweats.

The dizziness.

I couldn’t do it. I had to break down and eat something. For real. And for real, I mean protein.

So I broke the rules and had a piece of toast (all allergens were off the list, like wheat, dairy, eggs, peanuts, and soy) with the suggested almond butter. But instead of water, I had the forbidden juice. That’s right; I washed my indulgence down with five ounces of sugar water, otherwise known as orange juice.


Don't even get me started on how I failed big time on the media fast either.  (I justified this since I neglected reading my favorite blogs and writing on my own for the last month).


So here’s what I learned about myself and my family:

- I need protein.
- I do not like millet. In fact, no one in this family likes millet.
- Thomas will eat oranges.
- Marie like sunflower seeds, but not pomegranate seeds.
- Cutting my semi-regular afternoon cup of coffee is not worth it to me at this time.
- Harrington does have my back, seeing that he ate the millet with me. (Although I am sure he snacked it up at work).
- I think if I exercise 3-5 days a week, that’s not so bad. (The plan suggests a little every day).

So effective today, I have modified this action plan so I can effectively parent my children and not become a floppy pancake that needs to be scooped up off the floor. Although Marie does know how to dial 911, I do not think I want to see if she could do it in a real emergency.

And how embarrassing would it be to explain to the EMS that I passed out because I chose to eat disgusting millet instead of peanut butter toast for breakfast.

And that afternoon cup of coffee? It’s not like I am freebasing crack or drinking my lunch out of a bottle. Not to mention, I can’t go around wanting to cut people because I want a cup of coffee. That would not be a good example for The Babes, now would it?

So I will continue to try new foods and exercise and take some time to recharge since those are in line with my goals for 2011. But so is happiness. And this? Not making me happy. In fact, the lack of protein was making me so lethargic, I thought maybe I was depressed.

And that is the opposite of happy.

A few years back, I would think that I was a quitter. But since this is about Whole Living, I think it’s better to look at the whole picture (who is going to take care of The Babes when their mother is zoned out due to low blood sugar?) (meal times are crazy enough without making two dinners) (personal happiness)

And I can’t go around acting like this, right?



Hope your 2011 is getting off to a good start!

Happy New Year 2011

The Year-End Review

For those who celebrate Christmas, I hope you had a nice holiday. Mine was good . . . for the most part. However, I am not ready for a postmortem post about all the merriment. See, we did some things differently this year. And some of it went really, really well. And other things didn’t quite happen as I had envisioned. Or even a mediocre alternative. Stay tuned for another post.

 

So moving forward (to give me time to process Christmas), I am doing The Year-End Review that I found at Whole Living by Sarah Susanka , the author of The Not So Big Life. (And I will also be attempting The Whole Living Action Plan 28-Day Challenge starting Monday. I. am. nervous. Check out these recipes!! Stay tuned for more posts about that. And please feel free to join me in this challenge. I’d love the company).


And here I present to you my Year-End Review:

THE PAST YEAR
How have you spent your time?

I have spent the majority of my time taking care of The Babes

 

• Meeting their basic needs.
• Molding their young minds into kind-hearted human beings. (Oooh, that sounds simple, but those on the front lines of motherhood know that this is no easy task. If it was, therapists would be out of business).
• Cultivating a relationship between The Babes. (It seems to be working).

 

You know what's so great about this?
 I didn't even ask them to pose.

Marie had just fallen off the broom and
wanted to be sure Thomas didn't.

Playing alone.  Without me to moderate.

Pretend sleepovers.

 

I have also been really working on writing and my blog.

• Thank you much, Mommy Wants Vodka and your concept of Bringing Aunt Becky Back. You have helped me brush the dust off and wipe the sleep from my eyes. And guess what? I am still here. Different, but here.

 

What are you grateful for?

• For my Babes and all they have taught me about being a good person.
• Writing and blogging. It has done wonders for my self-confidence. Also all the wonderful people I have connected with, all by putting myself out there.
• BlogHer 10, thank you for showing me all the wonderful things that can happen with blogging and writing.

 

What were your sorrows/disappointments?

There has been a lot of disappointment surrounding some of my personal relationships.

• “No” is a powerful word. And sadly, some “relationships” cannot withstand “no.”
• Some relationships were not what they appeared to be.
• When I was busy pouring myself into certain relationships, I failed to notice I was the only one showing up.

 

Cold hard truth: one person cannot carry the weight of a healthy relationship.

 Sad? Yes, I have cried buckets. However, it is . . . freeing, you know, not to feel drained.

 

What books, films, etc. moved you?

• Eat Pray Love moved me (The book, not the movie . . . although the scenery in the movie was beautiful). . Have you ever read something and felt like someone took the words right out of your head and displayed them elegantly on the pages for you to read? This was that book for me. Minus the divorce and travel.

• Also Princess and the Frog. (I can hear your snickers, you know.) The message of balance between career and personal life is priceless. Also, The Babes and I bonded over the CD (especially on the trip to BlogHer10). And Thomas insists that I sing “Down in New Orleans.” Every night. At LEAST three times before I put him in his crib.

 

THE PRESENT

How are you different from the way you were a year ago?

• I understand me better.
• Better understanding of my personal boundaries and limits.
• More confident as a mother.
• Definitely understand the importance of fueling up my tank with healthy things that make me feel good, like writing, yoga, and exercising. I used to look at these things as a luxury, but now a necessity.

How can you integrate the lessons of the past year?

• Honor my personal boundaries and limits.
• Not feel guilty when I make a choice in the best interest of my family, and someone does not like it.

 This is hard. I think it all boils down to quieting the external noise and focusing on my instincts. And when people are not happy (especially when they hear the word “no”), they make a. lot. of. noise. But those instincts of mine? Rarely wrong.

 

Is there anything you’re trying to force into existence right now? If so, what would happen if you stopped?

• Yes. See above about personal relationships. I am pretty sure that if I stopped forcing certain relationships to be what I thought they were, I would eventually be happier.

• And everything is better when I am happy.

 

 

THE FUTURE

What do you want to focus on in the coming year?

• Be the best mother I can be.
• More date nights with Harrington.
• Keep on writing and blogging.
• More yoga.
• Focusing on the healthy relationships.
• Find more like-minded people who share my values.

Simply put, I want to be the best version of myself. I think only good can come of that, right?

 

 

So, Friends, where have you been in 2010? Where are you going?

 

And if you are interested in doing the 28-Day Whole Living Action Plan, let me know. I could use some team spirit. *spirit fingers*