For one of my Feel Good Friday posts, I talked about my new favorite place, Red Lotus Yoga. Last Saturday, I wasn’t even supposed to go to yoga. We were supposed to be out of town, but the people we were visiting became sick. When the trip was cancelled, Harrington was supposed to take Marie to her class. Those plans were changed when Harrington had to help my brother move. So I ended up taking her, which I was totally happy to do so.
The teacher that teaches this class is so inspirational that I feel like my spirit gets filled up while my core gets a work out. I love it! But this last time, she said something that struck a chord so deep in me that it brought tears to my eyes.
“Honor the goodness in you.”
It reminded me that I am a good person. Often times I forget that.
I am the nagging mommy.
I am the needy wife.
I am the protector of my personal boundaries when they are being threatened.
And all that wears on me and can make me feel like a bad person, especially that last one.
Often times, people don’t want to hear “No.” There are consequences for saying that dreaded word. Some relationships cannot withstand the word “no.” And people often don’t want to take responsibility for crossing over boundaries and place the blame on the enforcer. And it’s hard for me not to feel guilty.
I think that I am hardwired to assume responsibility for things that are not in my control.
It’s amazing how one comment triggered the swirling of all these feelings and realizations. I am so thankful that the twist and turn of events led me to that class.
Being strong in your convictions is not easy. As my Mother always says, “No one likes a whistle blower.” But I am not going to allow someone else’s view of me skew who I really am.
There is goodness inside of me.
And I am thankful for that reminder.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! I’ll see you back here for Movie Monday (for real this time)!
6 comments:
Mmmhmmm.
Thank you for sharing that. How often we let what we perceive as our shortcomings shadow our value. It is a great reminder for everyone. Happy Thanksgiving to you, my friend!
Wow, MOTS. You said a number of things here that resonate with me, like assuming responsibility for things beyond your control, relationships that cannot withstand the word "no", and feeling like a needy wife. Although the subject my blog is wedding gowns, I am IRL a mom & wife, and I struggle with all this. Thank you.
Mom et al, beautifully said! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Fiorella, if you ever want to write a guest post here to get it all out, I would love it! Have a great Thanksgiving!
I am touched by your post. I have struggled with this too.
I love how you said defender of my boundaries. Earlier this year I saw myself get very defensive when I felt invaded. And then it's an easy step into judging myself.
Thanks for the reminder to honor myself and the feeling of connectedness.
Purplume, I have totally struggled with judging myself. But then I think I just got to this point where I have to take care of me. For me, I think it boils down to this: I have to take care of others, and that requires a lot of energy. I don't have energy to feel badly about taking care of me, and if I don't, then I am a wreck. And a wreck doesn't make a good mom. Sorry for the ramble!!
I needed to hear this one today. The guilt of being a mom can be so overwhelming. So yes, bravo and hurrah!! xoxoxo
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