Life was gut-wrenchingly
difficult and blissfully easy at the same time.
Our life looks nothing
like that anymore.
Last week, the kids were
in summer day camp. They each got to go
to one camp that was centered on something that they love. Marie chose a really cool writing camp, and
Thomas went to an animal camp since he wants to be a vet and is obsessed with
animal books.
It’s exciting to see
them dive into their passion, and it reminds me of how far we have come from
those first summers together as a family.
And as much as I like to be there with them when they experience
something new, I realize the importance of them have adventures on their own.
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| Loved hearing all about their day over some strawberry shortcake. It seems that they remembered the details of the day when they had some sugar. |
I embrace the spirit of
summer and want my kids to spread their wings and fly! Even
though I may look calm and serene as they take flight, I would be lying if I
said I wasn’t scared. I mean, how could
I not be!? They are my kids, and I take their personal safety very seriously.
I can say with full
confidence that the 21-page welcome letter from Marie’s camp that outlined all
of the finest of details made me feel comfortable with her adventures away from
home.
But Thomas’s camp sent
home nothing. And it was a travel camp,
so when I dropped him off at camp, he was hopping on a bus and going somewhere
new every day. I thought, perhaps, that during
the last-days-of-school madness, I misplaced the information. But when I called the camp nervously asking
for the information, the secretary at the camp office said in a very, laid-back
kind of way, that they do not post that info on the website since they are not
sure where the locations will be until two weeks before.
She joyfully explained
that campers, age 6-12, would be going to the county fair and nature parks
about 45 minutes away.
I was a little nervous
that Thomas would be going so far away, but I was excited that he would be going to
places that were no where on my short (or long) list of possible outings with
either kid. Yay! Isn’t that what camp is
supposed to be about – new experiences without your mom or dad hovering near
by?!
But when the secretary
told me that they would be going to a zoo all the way in Lansing, which for
non-local peeps is over an hour and a half bus ride away, I freaked the eff
out. Thomas, who has just finished Kindergarten, was supposed to go that far
away. In a bus. With essentially strangers.
I know, I know. I sound like a helicopter mom. And I hate that because I do want my kids to
be fearless and adventurous.
When I manically
questioned the camp director about safety procedures that the camp has to keep
track of campers, he essentially told me that my kids would all leave the nest
at some point.
But my instincts were
telling me no on this part.
And the thing about
instincts - I always question them, especially when someone “in charge” is
telling me that I should be cutting the cord already.
Wonder if I deprived him of an experience of a lifetime?
Wonder if, one day while
sitting in a therapist’s chair, he says that I robbed him of his independence
and emasculated him at the tender age of six by denying him a field trip to the
Lansing zoo?
He came home (safely) from camp each day,and he had a blast! But then he would also cuddle with me and say
that he wanted me to put him down for bed.
The week before that, he said that he misses me . . . even though we are together all day
every day.
Part of being a mom is
reading between the lines of what is said and what is not being said.
So I kept him home from
camp the day he was supposed to go to Lansing zoo and took him to the Detroit
zoo instead. Just me and him.
Rare one-on-one time exploring one of his
favorite places while his sister was at camp.
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| I love this kid! |
It felt good that I
could give him my undivided attention. I
think he felt good not having to compete for face time with his sister.
It just felt right.
And in they days to
follow, I didn’t feel like he was hanging on to me – his bucket had been filled,
and he was OK to go out and explore without me.
Summer is very much about Thomas and Marie having adventures
of their own and figuring out who they are.
But it's also about me paying attention to what they say or don’t say,
and then listening to that quiet voice inside to decipher the clues so I can
figure out how best to guide them.
Then hoping that I did
the right thing.
