Feel Good Friday. . . Sort Of

Be sure to check out The Girl Next Door Grows Up and her awesome blog!

Well, I have to say this week was really fun, pulling a John C. Mayer with my dear Aunt Becky.  Kathy M. Griffin, I *heart* you, and I hope that you see my post named As Maggie Griffin Would Say on Kathy Griffin’s show My Life on The D-List on Bravo TV Network, “Tip it!”  Anyway, enough of all that . . .for now.

So this time next week The Hubs and I will be going on an all expense paid trip to Vancouver for his work conference.  This will be the first time we will have gone anywhere together since Marie was 9 months old.  If you do the math, it’s like 3 ½ years ago.  And the only time I have ever left them both was my Spa-venture, which was only 4 hours away. 

So next week, The Hubs and I will be traveling eight hours by plane, thru three time zones, clear across the land to the foreign country of Canada.  YIKES!  Now Harrington was all worried about it being an 8 hour flight because that’s such a long time to be in a plane.  Really?  Eight hours where I can sit by myself and read and/or sleep sounds like a relaxing way to spend the day.  A far cry from the two eight hours days in The Mini with the Babes and my Mom all the way to New York for BlogHer.  Which was the longest. Car. Drive. Ever.

I’m also really excited because we’ll be staying at the Four Seasons!  Can you believe that?!  Plus we get to go on some tour of the islands and see wild bears and lumberjacks and the blue ox Babe.  (Well, I just threw in the blue ox part).  This is all Feel Good Friday stuff, right?

So here’s where the sort of part: I feel guilty about enjoying this awesome opportunity because I didn’t necessarily “earn,”  like I’m riding his coattails.  And when I think about it, that’s really ridiculous because when he’s working all those extra hours, I’m working all those extra hours, too.  It just feels weird to be doing something like this.  I guess he got to enjoy all my BlogHer 10 swag, like my Jimmy Dean alarm clock, Jimmy Dean Coupons, Eucerin lotion, DreamSakes package and my new LG vacuum from the Mouthy Housewives party (when I hopefully get it soon).  But somehow that just doesn’t add up to a free vacation (for me at least) in Vancouver at the Four Seasons. 

Also, I’m sick to my stomach leaving The Babes.  I know it’s good for everyone (me, them, their alternative caregivers), but it still makes me nervous.  I don’t even want to get into all the what ifs because there’s a gagillion. 

But enough, because this is Feel GOOD Friday.  I will feel GOOD about this because I deserve a break with Harrington.  And The Babes will be fine.  Don’t you think three years is a long time without a break?  I do.

So what’s going on with your, Friends?  Any exciting plans in the mix for you?

Have a good weekend!

TAKE 2: As Maggie Griffin Would Say on Kathy Griffin’s show My Life on The D-List on Bravo TV Network, “Tip it!”

So guess what?  Kathleen M. Griffin doesn't pull up Kathy Griffin in Google.  So this is the same post as last time, but I switched it to Kathy Griffin.  Because I'm not quitter, yo.  This is pretty much the same thing except I added a few more links, like va-jazzled (as if bikini waxing isn't enough).  So don't feel like you have to  read it again, but pretty please leave a comment mentioning Kathy Griffin as many times as you can.  Thank you!  *hugs*
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Today I will be conducting an experiment in karma and SEO strategy. Or, since I am one of the Merry Band of Pranksters, a prank. Read how Aunt Becky is the George Clooney of practical jokes of The Internet. (Read it now, people, before you go any further or this is post won’t make any sense). (Thank you). (Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you). (Done)? (Great, now let’s get started). (And quality of writing is forsaken for the short time I have to write this).

Kathy M Griffin is my Target. Kathy Griffin and I have a history. I thought she was awesome since the first time I saw her doing her Play That Funky Music White Boy commercial. Pure genius! I remember seeing her do her standup routines on HBO when I was just a wee lass (Did I mention that Kathy Griffin is Irish)? She was also hilarious in Suddenly Susan with Brooke Shields. She was also in the Eminem Real Slim Shady video and one of my all time favorite movies, Pulp Fiction.

I have been a fan of Kathy Griffin for a long, long time. So imagine my sheer delight when she began her own show on Bravo TV Network called My Life on the D-List. My Life on the D-List debuted around the time Marie was born. Kathy Griffin offered the kind of comic relief that I so badly needed. Andy at Bravo TV Network, you are a genius to give Kathy Griffin her own show. You must never cancel her show My Life on the D-list. Ever. Kathy Griffin is so incredibly smart and I love how she brings causes to the forefront all while using her gift of humor.  I mean she va-gazzled herself to promote pap smears and acting out in the interest of poor, little girls forced to wear fake teeth to perform in beauty pagents. 

And seeing her live did not disappoint. Going to see Kathy Griffin was the first real outing I had with The Hubs after Marie was born. I was a nervous wreck leaving her for the first time. I had no idea what to wear because I was still mostly in maternity get-up. I think the name of that tour was called Straight to Hell. I also saw her for my birthday when she toured with She'll Cut a Bitch. Harrington came up with that idea as I was puking my guts out in the hospital with serious morning sickness. Great idea, Harrington! And then for the following birthday, I got her new autobiography Official Book Club Selection. Hard cover. Yes, that’s how much I love Kathy Griffin.

Yeah, Dude, Kathy Griffin ROCKS! 

Kathy Griffin, you have been a part of some very special moments in my life. You have taught me what it takes to be a Strong Black Woman. You have made a difference in my life because you made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry a river of postpartum tears. Or throw up due to pregnancy hormones. Thank you.

And, Kathleen M. Griffin, if you are reading this, I know just how badly this post is written. It does not do your level of comedic genius any justice. Please refer to the following posts for a better sample of my writing. And please send my best to Tiffany Rinehart, Maggie Griffin, and Tom Vize.
Now excuse me while I go TIP IT!!

As Maggie Griffin Would Say on Kathleen Mary Griffin’s show My Life on The D-List on Bravo TV Network, “Tip it!”

Today I will be conducting an experiment in karma and SEO strategy.  Or, since I am one of the Merry Band of Pranksters, a prank.  Read how Aunt Becky is the George Clooney of practical jokes of The Internet.  (Read it now, people, before you go any further or this is post won’t make any sense ).  (Thank you).  (Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you).  (Done)?  (Great, now let’s get started).  (And quality of writing is forsaken for the short time I have to write this).

Kathleen Mary Griffin is my Target.  Please read her wikipedia page.  Kathleen M. Griffin and I have a history.  I thought she was awesome since the first time I saw her doing her Play That Funky Music White Boy commercial.  Pure genius!  I remember seeing her do her standup routines on HBO when I was just a wee lass (Did I mention that Kathllen M. Griffin is Irish)?  She was also hilarious in Suddenly Susan with Brooke Sheilds.  She was also in the Eminem Real Slim Shady video and one of my all time favorite movies, Pulp Fiction.

 I have been a fan of Kathleen M. Griffin for a long, long time.  So imagine my sheer delight when she began her own show on Bravo TV Network called My Life on the D-List.  My Life on the D-List debuted around the time Marie was born.  Kathleen M. Griffin offered the kind of comic relief that I so badly needed.  Andy at Bravo TV Network, you are a genius to give Kathleen M. Griffin her own show.  You  must never cancel her show My Life on the D-list. Ever.  Kathleen M. Griffin is so incredibley smart, and I love how she brings causes to the forefront all while using her gift of humor.

And seeing her live did not disappoint.  Going to see Kathleen M. Griffin was the first real outing I had with The Hubs after Marie was born.  I was a nervous wreck leaving her for the first time.  I had no idea what to wear because I was still mostly in maternity get-up.  I think the name of that tour was called Going Straight to Hell.  I also saw her for my birthday when she toured with Cut a Bitch.  Harrington came up with that idea as I was puking my guts out in the hospital with serious morning sickenss.  Great idea, Harrington!  And then for the following birthday, I got her new autobiography Official Book Club Selection.  Hard cover.  Yes, that’s how much I love Kathleen M. Griffin.



I *heart* Kathleen M. Griffin and The Offical Book Club Selecion!



Kathleen M. Griffin, you have been a part of some very special moments in my life.  You have taught me what it takes to be a Strong Black Woman.  You have made a difference in my life because you made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry a river of postpardum tears.  Or throw up due to pregnancy hormones.  Thank you.

And, Kathleen M. Griffin, if you are reading this, I know just how badly this post is written.  It does not do your level of comedic genius any justice.  Please feel free to click around at any other post for a better sample of my writing.  And please send my best to Tiffany Rinehart, Maggie Griffin, Tom Vize.

Now excuse me while I go TIP IT!!

Fridays: Sometimes They Suck It, Sometimes They Mark 1 More Week Until BlogHer

It’s Friday (my former least favorite day of the week) (although it’s kinda working its way back to that title), and I could focus on the sad parts like I wrote about here. Or I can talk about how an arrogant ENT told me that Marie has to go for a sleep study. He’s not sure if it’s Obstructive Sleep Apnea or Central Sleep Apnea. Although her tonsils are almost touching, because she’s not gasping for air at night after holding her breath, he wasn’t sure. Here is an excerpt from my efforts to learn more about Central Sleep Apnea after I told him Marie’s symptoms:

Arrogant ENT: (to Innocent Intern) Sounds like it could be central or obstructive. (To me) You will need to get her a sleep study.

Me: Why?

Arrogant ENT: Because I am not sure if it’s only obstructive even though her tonsils are almost touching.

Me: What would it be?

Arrogant ENT: Central Sleep Apnea

Me: What does that mean?

Arrogant ENT: Something centrally causing her apnea. (As a former English teacher, you should never use the vocabulary word as part of the definition)

Me: What does that mean? (Now I feel like Marie asking, “Why” a gazillion times).

Arrogant ENT: They’ll discuss this at the sleep clinic.

Me: (rather assertively) IF you don’t tell me, I’m going to go home and Google it. And scare myself. I’d rather hear from you.

Arrogant ENT: (rather arrogantly) Well, then don’t go on the computer. I won’t be able to help you then.

Me: (calm-but-don’t-fcku-with-me tone) Then tell me what does it mean.

Arrogant ENT: (mumbles) Your brain tells your body not to breath. Here’s the script. (Scurries out)
END SCENE

So a week after BlogHer, I get to participate in Marie’s sleep study. And since we are on the topic of BlogHer, let’s talk about that! I am so excited! So for those that want to track me down, here’s what I am doing:

Friday night, I am going to take my hair out of my rollers and have a drink with the Mouthy Housewives. I am so excited, especially since this is a last minute addition to my plans. This will be a huge night out since a big night for me is watching my DVR’d shows, The Real Housewives of New Jersey  and Bethenny Getting Married, back to back with an avocado/oatmeal face mask setting while drinking a Blue Moon (or a nice glass of Chardonnay). (And as I stated in another post, shows like this can be healing and have helped me find closure).  Needless to say, I am totally excited!!

Saturday, I am going to the actual BlogHer conference. When I bought my ticket in the winter, I didn’t want to commit to two days since I didn’t know what I wanted to do with blogging. Well, six months later, I have grown deeply attached to writing and blogging, so I am glad that I made the decision to go. I am also going to A Green Affair and Sparklecorn.

Also, this is what I look like:

Excpet now I am a tad bit bloner, and chances are my hair will be up.
 And I can't Auto Correct myself in person.

So if you see me, please say hi. I am petrified by the feeling of being the girl sitting by herself at the lunch table with no one to talk to. Also, my name is Erin if you missed that bit of info on my last post.

So tell me, Friends, are you going? If you are going, what are you doing between the last keynote speaker and the parties? If you are doing something, ANYTHING, let me know so I don’t have to eat a peanut butter sandwich in the bathroom all by myself while I make desperate, guilt-ridden calls to my Mom to make sure the Babes are alright.

Have a great weekend!

(And wow, did I add enough links in this post or what)?!

I *heart* Jeff Lewis

As much as I would LOVE to talk about how Thomas will eat and not spit up (but won’t sleep) or how I feel my engorged milk ducts feel like they are going to explode, I need a break from all this reality to talk about an alternative reality; the reality of Jeff Lewis.

For those who don’t know who Jeff Lewis is, he is the main character of Bravo TV’s reality show Flipping Out. He is so neurotic, bossy, and over the top interior designer who used to flip houses. I LOVE him! He’s the kind of person who needs all his cupboards organized in alphabetical order while being aesthetically pleasing. He hires these assistants that he can boss around. Sidebar: When I see these assistants, and those of Kathy Griffin on My Life on the D-List, I think, “Damn, I missed my calling. I would be such a good assistant. At least if I was an assistant, it would be clear where I would be on the food chain of commands, unlike when I was a teacher.” But I digress.

What I love about Jeff is that he is unapologetic for being himself. He acts like his crazy way to order a drink for lunch (12% Sprite, 73% lemonade, and 15% ice tea or something neurotic like that) is totally justified. Being on the receiving end of that would be totally annoying, but being Jeff would totally rock!

This past episode he commented on his personal growth. Jenni, his assistant who is now dating after a horrible divorce, was suppose to go on a blind date later to only find out that he was in a relationship ready to be engaged. Jeff said that maybe he saw Jenny’s picture and wasn’t interested. He said he had grown because he would never say that to her face as he may have done in the past. Way to go, Jeff!

Here are a few examples when I could have been a bit more Jeff Lewis:
When Harrington was running late bringing home the chicken to the christening party because his Dad’s wife made them go all the way home to let the dog out I could have said, “I need the chicken here now, Harrington’s Dad. There is a house full of people, and we need to eat our 53% breast, 41% thigh, 12% drumstick, and 2% wing order NOW DAMN IT!”

When Marie wants to watch her 10th hour of Imagination Movers and screeches, “I don’t wanna turn off the TV! I could say, “It’s a great day at Mommy on the Spot’s office, and we can’t have this negative attitude. Please turn it around or go home.”

When Thomas doesn’t want to nap longer than 20 minutes, I could say, “I have you scheduled for an hour and a half nap. I need you to go back to sleep, and I’ll have my assistant come pick you up when you are done.”

Not to mention what I wouldn’t do for Zoila, his housekeeper! Please, Zoila, if you are looking for another house to clean and organize, consider me!! And Jenni, if you are looking for a new friend, I love you and how you can put up with Jeff’s shit with a smile! Please teach me!

Well, enough day dreaming (actually night dreaming, but since I’m not sleeping, it’s still day dreaming). Now off to pour myself a nice glass of wine, put some fresh cabbage leaves in my sports bra, and read Healthy Sleep Habit, Healthy Child.

Good night!