Flying Solo

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 Alternatively titled: How This Weekend Kicked My Ass

There is something magical about this time of year when late spring gives way to early summer.  I can take a deep breath of fresh air and give thanks that I am no longer being held hostage by Calliou and My Little Ponies.

This enchanted season also marks the advent of Golf Season.  There are “business” outings, weekend get-aways, and college buddy get-togethers that all revolve around golf.

Most times I am totally cool with flying solo.  Sure it’s hard work being 100% on for 100% of the time, but dinners are a tad bit easier and there are special moments when it’s just me and The Babes.

Not this weekend.

I seriously think The Universe was testing to see how what it would take to break me.  Universe, you were successful.  I am not the yelling kind of mom, but this weekend I became what one might refer to as a “raving lunatic.”

It started with Marie’s end of the year school function on Friday night.  I tried to have fun with a plethora of word puzzle/scavenger hunt activities.  And I was really getting into it . . . until this one mom was all in a snit about the musical lyrics exercise.  Here’s what the worksheet looked like:

She said, and I quote (in the huffiest tone that is normally reserved for those sixteen and under), “We all live in a what submarine?  What is this?  How do they even expect us to know this?”

Please keep in mind, the “us” she was referring to was not the kids, but the adults.  I just blinked at her in such a way that I am sure I communicated, “Who the hell does NOT know this song by the Beatles?  There is a shirt sized 2T at Target with this lyric!”

And then there was The Bounce House Obstacle Course Incident.  This was pretty much pure anarchy minus the two teenagers monitoring situation.  Thomas was by far the youngest to partake in this Wipeout-esque debacle, which made me made me feel equal parts of both pride and fear.  When I warned him that this was his last time, therefore I thought we had an understanding. 

I was wrong.

He did not get out.  I had to get in to retrieve him while he promptly smacked me in the face.  W.T.F?!  Meanwhile Marie is yanking on my arm to open up her bottle of water all while the DJ is blaring Who Let the Dogs Out.

I was in the 7^th ring of Hell.

I disciplined Thomas, and got out of there as fast as I could.  I got them bathed and to bed, and I tried to relax.  I decided to finally give Fifty Shades of Grey a real chance and see what my book club was all raving about.  I just ended up being super mad that Christian was a giant pig and Anastasia was a blithering idiot.

Friday night was an epic fail.

I could go on about how Saturday was a tad bit better (minus the kid who pooped in the pool during swim class, and the lifeguard who was not sure if she should close down the pool).  I could also say how these kids I don’t even recognize as my own acted like heathens at a lovely outing at a local gallery to make the cutest fairy gardens ever.  The way they focused on those cupcakes you would think that they are denied processed sugar. 

I gave up, went home, and turned on the sprinklers while I got our hot dog dinner ready.  And that made them the happiest children.

Note to self: during Golf Season, go easy on yourself.  Be sure to stock up on hot dogs, ice cream, and sprinklers.  And all will be right with the world.

How was your weekend?

  

Thank You. Signed, The Management

If I could use only one word to describe this week: Overwhelming.

Underappreciated is a super close second.

This was the week I had to get my stuff done because Marie will be home for almost all of next week.  And we all know getting around town with one is much easier than two without even taking into account it’s Christmas time.

I will not get into specifics, but I was up until midnight for three nights in a row while still maintaining my early wakeup call of 5:50 a.m.  I also had a nasty cold.  Poor Harrington had a cold, too.  . . that sent him to bed as early as 9:30 and waking up as late as 7:10.

You do the math.

So the inspiration for this post is from Twitter.  Someone said that if you want to have your family to take notice of something you want them to do, you should write a note and sign it, “The Management.”  For example, “Please be sure to remove shoes before stepping on the carpet.  Signed, The Management.”

Pure genius, I tell you.

Here is a letter from The Management noting all my hard work this week that has gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

Dear Erin,

I hope that you are enjoying the magic and beauty of the season.  We sure have noticed all your hard work around here, and you are doing an amazing job.  In addition to your daily duties that include but are not limited to laundry, meal planning, grocery shopping, cleaning, packing lunches, hosting play dates (with a new friend . . . don’t think we didn’t notice the extra effort you put into cleaning the house before and after the play date), taking Thomas to school, picking up Marie from school and taking her to the dentist, you have been clocking some serious overtime to prepare for the holiday season.

You have gone to bed as late as midnight making gifts for special people so that you could have them shipped on time *and* take advantage of two major sales.   You also have taken Thomas all over town getting everything from Christmas cards to Target for a two hour marathon session of  Christmas shopping to the mall to make returns at Kohl’s since they sold you a “slightly” used griddle (and we know you need that griddle for Christmas morning chocolate chip pancakes).

You also went shopping for your special someone after Zumba which put you bed late for a third night in a row.  No nursing that nasty cold of yours!  You almost pushed yourself over the edge, so we applaud you for not working out the next morning.  However, you are looking fantastic.  We have noticed that you are looking trimmer than you have in a long time.  Looks like running all over town with a toddler along with eating cereal and sandwiches for dinner is working out for you.

Speaking of eating cereal for dinner, that was one hell of a night.  Both Plan A and Plan B dinners were derailed for that evening while your husband was enjoying cocktails and delicious fried food at a work party.  But that didn’t stop you from pushing through and making good on your promise to take the kids on a ride in the heated car while they wore their jammies so you can look at all the Christmas lights.  We don’t know about you, but our hearts totally melted when Thomas said how “bootiful” they lights were and how “they were everywhere!”  By the way, the Christmas CD was a nice touch and helped reset the mood after the dinner disaster.  But you didn’t stop at the Christmas lights.  Oh, no.  You even let them stay up and watch The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.  You put that Christmas train right back on the rails!

We also think it was awesome how you picked up Marie from school after your late night and take The Babes to write letters to Santa and mail them at the mall.  But again, in true form, you didn’t stop there.  You made sure that they had the full experience by taking them to the food court to eat junk food and go on the merry-go-round.  Yes, we know that Thomas had a meltdown when you wouldn’t let him go on any other rides, but you didn’t snap.  You know why?  Because you are amazing.

We know that next week is a busy week, too.  You will be food shopping for the various dishes and meals you will be serving not only during the holidays, but for your everyday needs as well.  You will be wrapping gifts, doing any last minute shopping, and cleaning the house for company.  And let’s not forget doing all the laundry so everyone’s clothes are ready for show time.

We would have liked to have sent you on an all expense weekend trip to the spa, but unfortunately we can’t have you gone for that long of time.  As you can see, your presence is greatly relied on around here.  Not to mention, it is just not in our budget at this time.  Please accept this ceramic travel coffee mug with a splash-free lid as a small token for our enormous gratitude for a job well done.  Actually, better than well done.  A fantastic job.

Keep up the great work.  Without you, Christmas just would not happen with the sparkle, finesse, and magic you lovingly put into each detail. 

Merry Christmas!

Thank you.

Signed,

The Management

Can vs. Should

I have felt exhausted. I blame birthday season. What the numbers didn’t show was the mental toll it took on me, seeing as I downplayed all the drama. I just feel there was a lot of emotion attached to each event. Not to mention that Harrington was gone for a lot of the season.
I was feeling like I was *waiting* to see what everyone else’s schedule was so maybe, just maybe I could *squeeze* a little, itty bit of me time in. And sometimes that me time was an eye appointment.

And to make sure that I was getting everything done, I fell out of balance. I was drinking copious amounts of coffee and looking a bit too forward to wine at the end of the day. Everything got done, but it was at the expense of my health. I was having a hard time sleeping, and my stomach was always in knots. So I guess a lesson I learned with all this is this:

Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.

Sure, I can plan a ton of events and do all the cleaning and do all the running around and do all the cooking and do all the cleaning and do all the laundry (and did I mention cleaning, because I feel that I went through gallons and gallons of Windex, bathroom cleaner, and dust spray). But in the end, I felt like I was hanging on by my fingernails. And I feel like I just need to respect the face that I am hardwired for stress and have a hard time decompressing.

To be honest, I didn’t realize how much of a toll this took on me until after a few weeks of not having to get emotionally ready for a party, just how light I felt. The Babes and I were outside enjoying the sunshine while I was planting our garden (another post, because this year, I went all out), and I felt much more relaxed. It was like I had more mental real estate space available to enjoy the moment instead of worrying about the next.

I realized that I had not been enjoying The Babes. I also did not have the energy to do the things that I enjoy. Gym time and yoga weren’t happening. I was disappointed by the quality of my posts. And I was resenting being last on the list while I squared everyone else away, hoping that there was a scrap of time for me.
I need to find my groove again and restore balance to my life.

(Also, I know I was away from blogging for too long when Skinny Scoop sent me an email wondering where I was).

So I thought this would be a great time to create a survey. How do you recharge your batteries? Clearly, what I was doing was not working. So please, take a second to answer the survey. I plan on writing a follow up post on this.

http://www.skinnyscoop.com/

I am glad to be able to spend more time writing and connecting with you. Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

I Need a Timeout

I pride myself on the fact that I can handle just about anything.

The intricacies of Christmas? No problem.

Mothering Marie through the social politics of preschool while simultaneously mothering Thomas to use words instead of force to communicate his needs? I got it.

Wifing Harrington through the growing pains associated with his new promotion? Check.

The six weeks of festivities otherwise known as Birthday Season with Harrington traveling out of town for work? That’s a bit tricky, but I. Can. Do It.

Until I can’t anymore.

See, I get this total adrenaline high from doing it all. But then a few days later, I feel totally drained and icky. Perhaps it’s withdrawal from the adrenaline.

The more I do, the more I feel compelled to do, which leads me to believe that I really am an adrenaline junkie. Not the jumping out of planes or zip lining kind. But that rush of looking at all that needs to get done and figuring out a way to make it happen kind.

As much as I love it, it doesn’t feel healthy. And to be honest, this season is kicking my ass!

Here are the warning signs:

- Teeth clenching

- Shallow breathing

- Annoyed that someone asked me for food. Again.

- Outraged that The Babes won’t let me enjoy twenty minutes of Matt Lauer on The Today Show as they scream for Disney, Jr.

- Looking at the dust and taking it personal it decided to take up residence on my furniture that I JUST dusted. Last week.

I know what you must be saying: ask for help. No one person can do it all alone.
And I know, I KNOW. You are right. And I do ask for help. For the big stuff.

When I fell apart following Marie’s discharge from her neurosurgeon, I asked for help. A bit later than I should have, but I still did. I also got help for my PMDD. Again, not in a timely fashion, but I did.

I don’t know why it’s so hard to ask someone to take the kids for a few hours to refill my tank so I can, you know, take care of EVERYTHING. It’s hard work being a full time caregiver, housekeeper, event planner, and chef (I use this term loosely because sometimes it’s hot dogs and sometimes it’s whole wheat pasta with steamed broccoli and grape tomatoes with chicken and garlic sautéed in extra virgin olive oil).

I totally hate sounding like a martyr because that looks good on no one. But, sometimes after wearing all those hats in one day, I am too damn tired to do something for me. I am really trying hard to be more definitive in giving myself some time off. An hour here, twenty minutes there. . . trying not feel guilty because the TV’s on and I chose to write a blog post as opposed to orchestrating a craft that incorporates fine motor skills and letter sound recognition and color recognition and experimenting with different textures and whatever else The Babes need.

I think you get my point.

So much pressure being a parent, no? (And now I sound like Yoda. *sigh*)

But seriously, after this birthday season is over, I am sooo going to do something nice for myself, like a massage or pedicure. Or maybe some extended quiet time in a padded room. Whatever. Just something that does not involve organizing or fulfilling someone else’s needs.

So how do you handle it “all?” Are you good at delegating? Do you procrastinate? Do you just not care? If that’s the case, please, teach me.

Moms Aren’t the Only Ones Who Are Overworked and Underappreciated – A Tribute to the Employees of the Sprint Store by Wireless Revolution

Well, I’m deep into Birthday Season – two down and I lost count of how many left to go. Thomas’s party was good minus all that pesky underlying tension and fear that someone might go rouge. Nothing a half a bottle of Chardonnay (thanks, Kroger for putting Hess on sale for $10 a bottle), Cheetos, and Jersey Shore couldn’t fix. And most importantly, Thomas had a great time. All he wanted was cake and presents, and we didn’t disappoint.

 

My brother’s birthday was at Los Locos in Rochester. The food was totally awesome. Thomas was in love with the mooing cow statue . . . and ironically his beef taco.

 

Birthday Season is not for the weak. It takes a lot of work that is easy to take for granted

• Clean house - CHECK
• Clean clothes - CHECK
• Cake and decorations - CHECK

Prior to all this hard work, everything was going according to plan. And then my phone needed some service. I say “my phone”, but it really is my lifeline out to the world. There was a revolutionary update that needed to be installed on my Sprint Transform, so I did it.

Then it appeared that my apps were not running the same. And my battery was dying. I was freaking out, I tell you, FREAKING. OUT.

 

When other things are out of my control (like the possible explosive chemistry in family dynamics . . .in which all the players were going to be at my house in less than 24 hours), I hold on to things that should work, like my phone. And I obsessively nervously wash my hands.

 

So I did what anyone who under extreme duress would do: go to my local Sprint Store by Wireless Revolution. Here, everyone is so friendly and interested in making me a happy customer. There, I feel like people listen to me and make my needs are a priority. Kinda like therapy, but much cheaper and less time consuming.

 

It’s not at all macho and condescending. Scott kindly talked me off my ledge.  He kindly explained that my phone was not acting up, and ensured me that this update was a good thing. Also, he patiently showed me how to change the settings on my apps. (Hmmm, I think there is a metaphor in there that I have yet to fully realize). And most importantly, he didn’t make me feel like an ass.

 

Scott isn’t the only hero in this story. Earlier that week, I was in that store for forty-five minutes for a checkup with my phone (which was one hour and fifteen minutes faster than my scheduled appointment for Thomas’s well checkup). Mark took his time fixing my phone so it would be all ready for this awesome new update. He didn’t look at me with judging eyes when Thomas demanded, “pretzelscrackersproteinbarsNOW!” Instead we commiserated on toddler behavior and the trials of potty training. Seriously? Mark really took his time and made sure my phone was in tiptop shape . . . and we had some parent talk. How awesome is that?!

 

Wayne, who sold me this phone in the first place, was nice enough to give Thomas a decoy phone to play with when I could no longer meet his “pretzelscrackersproteinbarsNOW!” demands. I should also note that Wayne was really patient in explaining my phone options and helping me become acquainted with my phone when I didn’t even understand the concept of Droid Platform. I’ve come a long way, thanks to his patience.

 

Now all is right with the world, thanks to the fine gentlemen of The Sprint Store by Wireless Revolution.

 

And it’s easy to take a phone that works for granted. As it is a clean house and clean clothes.

 

So I wanted to make sure that the people responsible for keeping me connected with the outside world (which allows me to know what is going on outside of Disney Junior) know how much I appreciate them and all their wisdom. Good customer service is hard to come by these days and not all phone stores are created equal (Note: I went to a store than rhymes with Z-Shmobile for my brother’s birthday gift and left thanking my lucky stars that I don’t need to deal with them).

 

So thank you, Mark, Wayne, and Scott! I don’t think I could ever be tempted into change services because of you and your supreme customer service.

 

And let it be known, I have in no way been compensated for this post. Sprint Store by Wireless Revolution is just awesome, and I thought everyone should know.

Cinderella: Pre-Prince Days

(or Post-Prince Days with kids, but we would never know for sure since there was not a satisfactory follow up to my childhood favorite Disney princess movie)

As I was making my to-do list, it started to feel a lot like a Cinderella kind of day (with a tad of Mary Poppins thrown in there for childcare measure):

- Laundry
- Cooking
- Cleaning
- Fun Activities for The Babes

This is most weeks, and most days I actually enjoy it, but coming off a hard week last week and a similar week this week (meaning The Hubs is working long hours and is barely home), I’m EX.AUST.ED.

Drained.

Fuzzy.

And feeling a tad bit underappreciated.

Most days I feel like I do handle all that is being a stay-at-home mom with the grace of Cinderella. You know, powering through her never-ending to do list without being a cranky and bitchy.

But not today. Today I will be faking it every step of the way while pushing the limits of how much coffee my stomach can handle.

Wish me luck.

See you tomorrow for Feel Good Friday!