Motivational Monday: Setting the Tone for the Holidays

This weekend kicked off my official holiday season. Thanksgiving - check 

Raw, turkey roasted - check (more details later this week.  A little hint: it is crucial to the thermometer in the correct place to avoid bloody turkey legs).

Christmas tree up – check.

This weekend I also realized it is a slippery slope to become negative after a busy social schedule. I am thinking this has something with me having introverted tendencies, which I am learning (thanks Chibi Jeebs on Pinterest), means that I’m not some antisocial freak.  It means that I just have to be sure to take a break. 

But for me, it is easy to get wrapped up in drama of the holidays with a full schedule of family and school functions.

It is easy to lose all boundaries that keep me healthy, both mentally and physically.  I loosen up my personal boundaries because it is the holidays!  Remember all those warm and fuzzy memories . . . that do match up with reality of adulthood?!

Which then makes it hard for me to keep my eating and drinking reigned in.

Which then makes it really easy to stop exercising and going to yoga.

It’s kind of like If You Give a Mouse a Muffin, except I end up bloated and cranky from all the Christmas cookies and wine I have consumed in attempts to rediscover my holiday joy.

But in the famous words of my friend at Flourish in Progress, “I ain’t about that life.”

No, not this year.  I am almost done with my Couch to 5K program and just bought skinny jeans that fit

Well, that and I don’t want to taint my kids’ magical memories of holidays with my meltdowns.

So I decided needed to keep myself motivated with a new series called Motivational Mondays.

To set the mood, I have this quote by Elizabeth Gilbert who just happens to be one of my most favorite authors in the whole entire world.

I am considering making this my background on my phone so I am constantly reminded of this, especially when my mental health is being tested.

Do you love the holidays?  Do you find it hard to stay in a good mood?

Thank you. Signed, The Management: Holiday/New Job Edition

I wrote a post from the Management a while ago and decided it was time for another installment.  The idea originated from some twitter posts I saw about mothers writing notes around the house for certain things to get done and signed it from “The Management” to ensure it got done. 

Brilliant, I tell you!

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Dear Erin,

We realize that we are a bit late in recognizing all of your hard work during the holiday season, but better late than never, right?

First of all, you rocked this Christmas season!  You had all of your shopping done two weeks before Christmas and the wrapping done a week before the big day.  This is an all-time best since you have had children.  And we know it’s not because you have less going on.  It’s actually quite the contrary since you were job shadowing, taking Thomas to the hospital for his surgery, working on family photo projects, and working on your blog.  We’re not quite sure how you did it (although judging by the trail of Via coffee wrappers that follows you and the stockpile of peppermint mocha creamer, we think that may be a clue as to what helped you through those long days).

We would also like to comment you on how you handled your Christmas events and kept your personal boundaries intact with dignity (and fierceness that may have frightened others away).

We also thought it was quite something how you decorated your presents with old-fashioned paper, stamps, and ribbon.  We know that you told everyone it was because Marie wanted to experience Christmas like the American Girl Kit from the 1930’s, but we really know that you used this opportunity as art therapy.  For that, we applaud your efforts in finding peace during such a hectic season.

We know that this kind of excellency did not come without a few hiccups.  We know that Thomas may have clocked in some extra hours watching TV.  The plus side is that he cultivated a love for the children’s classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas staring Jim Carrey.  True, it was not the classic cartoon that you grew up with, but nonetheless, he loved it (although Christmas commercialism message may be lost because he tuned out when the Grinch’s heart grew two sizes too big).

Our hearts felt for you as you became unglued in the recovery room after Thomas’s surgery.  You couldn’t be there for Marie in the morning before school and take Thomas to the hospital, and you just lost it.  Since human cloning is not yet an option, we believe that you should give yourself a break.  As The Management, we believe it is in your best interest to practice more kindness towards yourself.

We also noticed that, in fear of forgetting pajama day, you made sure that Marie’s favorite jammies were clean and ready for her to wear on the special day.  We are so proud that you didn’t forget, however, we noticed that in your overzealousness, you sent her to school in her jammies.   It was not pajama day.  Although we noticed that Marie was Ok with it, we could not help but feel sorry for you as you cried in embarrassment.  Trust us: this will be a story that you will find humorous one day!

You bounced back and right into your new job.  You managed a funeral and your husband’s extended work hours beautifully all without having to order carry out (although we think that might just be your stubborn streak showing). 

Great job, Erin!  If we could just leave you something to work on, give yourself a break and if even the crockpot seems like too much effort, go on and order carryout until you get the bugs worked out with this new schedule.

Thanks again for all your hard work,

The Management

Me = Buddy the Elf + Clark Griswold + Marie Bamford’s Character from Target Commercials

It is Friday, and I still haven’t posted here yet!  There are a few reasons for the delay:

Thomas had surgery on Thursday to put in a second pair of tubes and his adenoids removed.

I am embarking on a totally new project that has required time for preparation.  Stay tuned on this one – I’ll make the announcement on Tuesday!

I have been totally preparing for Christmas.  In fact, I would be surprised if Santa doesn’t ask me to join his team as an official elf.

I am suffering from blog guilt – I haven’t been reading or commenting on blogs.  I have been neglecting Mommy on the Spot this week.  I have not been as active on my social sites.

But Christmas is one of my most favorite times of the year.  It is such a magical time of year that I am trying to be present for Marie and Thomas (despite the above list that didn’t even mention Harrington’s last minute business trip to California).

But in spirit of honoring my love of the holiday and my passion for blogging and my new obsession with YouTube, I have decided to use YouTube clips to describe me at Christmas.

It usually starts out with Harrington and I having a variation of the conversation like Ellen and Clark Griswald share (in which I could not find a clip – YouTube Fail).  It starts out with Ellen (Harrington) telling Clark (me) that her parents and his parents were going to be staying with them during Christmas. 

Clark responds, “All my life I’ve wanted to have big family Christmas.”

Ellen cautiously says him, “It’s just that I know how you build these things up in your mind.  You set standard no family event can ever live up to.”

Clark replies in disbelief, “When have I ever done that?”

Ellen lovingly reminds him by saying, “Parties.  Weddings.  Anniversaries.  Funerals.  Holidays.  Vacations.  Graduations.”

After I blow off Harrington’s cautionary reminders, I usually march ahead with my child-like enthusiasm and make lists of all the fun holiday things we will do as a family, just like Buddy the Elf (minus the elf costume).  (Note to self: consider finding elf costume for next year).

I then become so excited about Christmas I start to take form of Maria Bamford’s character from the old Target Christmas commercials.

Inevitably, I end up having some kind of meltdown in which I end up sounding like this:

Which brings us full circle with me being the female version of Clark Griswold.

Yep.  This is me at Christmas.

I promise to have a real blog post that will be announcing the new direction my new life is taking.  (Re: I am no longer in denial and signed on the dotted line).

How is your holiday season coming along?  Are you a Clark Griswald/Maria Bamford/ Buddy the Elf type of Christmas person?  Or do you lean more on the Grinch side (which, no judging.  I am a total Grinch about Halloween.)

Thank You. Signed, The Management

If I could use only one word to describe this week: Overwhelming.

Underappreciated is a super close second.

This was the week I had to get my stuff done because Marie will be home for almost all of next week.  And we all know getting around town with one is much easier than two without even taking into account it’s Christmas time.

I will not get into specifics, but I was up until midnight for three nights in a row while still maintaining my early wakeup call of 5:50 a.m.  I also had a nasty cold.  Poor Harrington had a cold, too.  . . that sent him to bed as early as 9:30 and waking up as late as 7:10.

You do the math.

So the inspiration for this post is from Twitter.  Someone said that if you want to have your family to take notice of something you want them to do, you should write a note and sign it, “The Management.”  For example, “Please be sure to remove shoes before stepping on the carpet.  Signed, The Management.”

Pure genius, I tell you.

Here is a letter from The Management noting all my hard work this week that has gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

Dear Erin,

I hope that you are enjoying the magic and beauty of the season.  We sure have noticed all your hard work around here, and you are doing an amazing job.  In addition to your daily duties that include but are not limited to laundry, meal planning, grocery shopping, cleaning, packing lunches, hosting play dates (with a new friend . . . don’t think we didn’t notice the extra effort you put into cleaning the house before and after the play date), taking Thomas to school, picking up Marie from school and taking her to the dentist, you have been clocking some serious overtime to prepare for the holiday season.

You have gone to bed as late as midnight making gifts for special people so that you could have them shipped on time *and* take advantage of two major sales.   You also have taken Thomas all over town getting everything from Christmas cards to Target for a two hour marathon session of  Christmas shopping to the mall to make returns at Kohl’s since they sold you a “slightly” used griddle (and we know you need that griddle for Christmas morning chocolate chip pancakes).

You also went shopping for your special someone after Zumba which put you bed late for a third night in a row.  No nursing that nasty cold of yours!  You almost pushed yourself over the edge, so we applaud you for not working out the next morning.  However, you are looking fantastic.  We have noticed that you are looking trimmer than you have in a long time.  Looks like running all over town with a toddler along with eating cereal and sandwiches for dinner is working out for you.

Speaking of eating cereal for dinner, that was one hell of a night.  Both Plan A and Plan B dinners were derailed for that evening while your husband was enjoying cocktails and delicious fried food at a work party.  But that didn’t stop you from pushing through and making good on your promise to take the kids on a ride in the heated car while they wore their jammies so you can look at all the Christmas lights.  We don’t know about you, but our hearts totally melted when Thomas said how “bootiful” they lights were and how “they were everywhere!”  By the way, the Christmas CD was a nice touch and helped reset the mood after the dinner disaster.  But you didn’t stop at the Christmas lights.  Oh, no.  You even let them stay up and watch The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.  You put that Christmas train right back on the rails!

We also think it was awesome how you picked up Marie from school after your late night and take The Babes to write letters to Santa and mail them at the mall.  But again, in true form, you didn’t stop there.  You made sure that they had the full experience by taking them to the food court to eat junk food and go on the merry-go-round.  Yes, we know that Thomas had a meltdown when you wouldn’t let him go on any other rides, but you didn’t snap.  You know why?  Because you are amazing.

We know that next week is a busy week, too.  You will be food shopping for the various dishes and meals you will be serving not only during the holidays, but for your everyday needs as well.  You will be wrapping gifts, doing any last minute shopping, and cleaning the house for company.  And let’s not forget doing all the laundry so everyone’s clothes are ready for show time.

We would have liked to have sent you on an all expense weekend trip to the spa, but unfortunately we can’t have you gone for that long of time.  As you can see, your presence is greatly relied on around here.  Not to mention, it is just not in our budget at this time.  Please accept this ceramic travel coffee mug with a splash-free lid as a small token for our enormous gratitude for a job well done.  Actually, better than well done.  A fantastic job.

Keep up the great work.  Without you, Christmas just would not happen with the sparkle, finesse, and magic you lovingly put into each detail. 

Merry Christmas!

Thank you.

Signed,

The Management

Thanksgiving Weekend, For Real

I would like to preface this post by saying I love Thanksgiving. What’s there not to love: food, a parade, baking, family togetherness, getting ready for Christmas.



So when I was feeling quite agitated after this holiday weekend, I have come to the conclusion that I like the *idea* of holidays. None of these things that I enjoy about the holiday ever turn out the way that I think they will. I am the Clark Griswold of our family. I wrote a bit about this on my Macomb Patch post, but as I was writing, there was so much more that came to mind after I clicked the publish button.



In less than twenty-four hours of our family togetherness, Thomas was having a meltdown because Marie was encroaching in on his time alone with me. As we debriefed from his timeout, Thomas growled through clenched, “Sissy needs to go to school.”



Wow. On the bright side, he is very clear in communicating his feelings, right?



So the most obvious fix to this situation was to do a group project in which they would have so much fun that they would totally forget that they were feeling crabby with each other. Baking cookies seemed like a good idea. Everything was going great until I put in the flour into the Kitchen Aid Mixer, and Thomas put the mixer on full force. A fine film of flour covered the floor, the counter, and a bit on the pumpkin pies that were cooling. Nice.



Thanksgiving was good, for the most part. I went to my parents’ house to help them with turkey while simultaneously working on The Raw Chicken Dare. However, I walked into a power struggle about how to cook a turkey between my Mom and Dad. (My Mom has thirty plus years of experience, and my Dad watched an Alton Brown show). The bird was still frozen and my Dad already had his hands in the turkey so he just took the icky parts out. And I didn’t fight him on it because I froze. I just couldn’t do it. But I am no quitter so I took that herbed butter and was elbow deep in raw turkey as I spread it between the skin and the meat. I promptly washed as I was scrubbing for surgery. There was something distinctly more disgusting about that twenty-five pound turkey than a little chicken.



Decorating for Christmas has always been a favorite activity of mine . . . until Thomas thought the ornaments were toys and would. Not. Stop. Touching. The. Tree. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown, especially when he moved a kitchen chair so he could reach the ornaments I hid out of his reach (but obviously not out of his eye sight).



This turn of events escalated the power struggle between Harrington and Thomas to new heights. (Imagine hearing, “Don’t! Touch!” followed by Thomas making intense eye contact with Harrington as he reached for another ornament). I thought that I was going to lose what little mind I had left.



I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the intense discussions I had with Harrington about our vision of external illumination. I want lots of love and sparkle, and his vision has less . . . um, sparkle. But I think we are coming together on this since he bought more lights to fill in the wacky shaped tree in our front yard.



We ended the weekend with dinner with my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law and her family. It was a lot of fun watching The Babes play with their cousins. Since we were supposed to have a family photo taken, I worked really hard to make sure we all had nice, coordinating clothes cleaned and ironed. The picture never happened, but we all looked really cute, if I do say so myself.



So yes, I love the holidays. . . just like Clark Griswold.



Tell me all about your Thanksgiving. 

Because I would like to know that I am not alone.

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A Word About Relationships and the Holidays

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! My celebrations with my family and Harrington’s family were great! There was lots of good food and fun to be had by all.

Even though it was great, I did start thinking about why this time of year can be kind of depressing . . . especially when it comes to relationships.

During the year, I think it’s easier to ignore how relationships really are and easier to project how we want them to be. Even though we may get clues and red flags all year long, it’s much simpler to look the other way.

But when it comes to The Holiday Season, it becomes glaringly obvious how the relationships really are.

Sometimes that is awesome. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and cozy inside. I feel just plain fortunate to have such incredible people in my life.

And sometimes it hurts. Because various relationships that I put time and energy in all year? Are draining me dry.

The Picture Perfect Holiday quickly becomes I Want to Drown My Disappointment in Pomegranate Cocktails and Christmas Cookies Holiday.

As much fun as the Pomegranate Cocktail and Christmas Cookie Holiday can be, I often feel blurry and bloated and just plain sad. So I have decided to take a different approach this year.

Instead of projecting my ideals on certain relationships and feeling crushed when they are not mutual, I have decided to accept them for what they are . . . and let go. Not of the people, but of the hope that things will be different.

I am thinking if I let go, I will clear a space for some real deals instead of settling on some imposters. Kind of like hoarders, it’s hard to make sense of everything and cherish what is valuable if you have a bunch of clutter to cloud your judgment.

And not that I expect a Picture Perfect Holiday, but I will gladly take a Happy Holiday.

So, Friends, what are you doing to keep you spirits up this Holiday Season?

Holiday Hysteria and Christmas Catastrophe: Holiday Marketing Schemes and the Anxious Consumer

This past Sunday, the Fam and I decided to go for a little trip down the toy aisles at Target to get a few ideas of what The Babes may want for Christmas. I anticipated the fun kind of trip where we talk about making a Christmas list and get all dreamy for The Big Morning.

What I did not anticipate was a store FILLED with people as if it were the last two weeks before Christmas. It was packed, people! Toys were MISSING from the shelves! MISSING!!

The one thing we really want to get Thomas – GONE!

When I asked a clerk to look in the back, they said there were no more. NO MORE!! And then I went into over share mode:

Me: Really? They are all gone?

Clerk: Yes, but we get shipment almost every day now.

Me: I just can’t believe that they are all gone.

Clerk: I know.

Me: I mean, the marketing scheme of getting the consumer to worry about Christmas and actively shop well before Thanksgiving is working. Here I am, FREAKING out that the one toy I really, really need is not on the shelf because I waited a whole week after Halloween to start Christmas shopping. Really, what kind of mom am I to have waited so long?

Clerk: You know, you can call us to see if we got the shipment in.

Me: Well, I may call everyday and be “that parent” who stalks the store until it comes.

Clerk: (nervous laugh) That’s OK. It happens all the time.

Me: Alright, talk to you tomorrow.

Well, I missed my call on Monday, and when I called today on Tuesday, the shop clerk actually asked if I called yesterday since “that is our shipment date.” No pressure, lady! I got it - I’m a bad mom because I didn’t call on one of your official shipment dates.

I know I’ve been writing a lot about how I am working to make stronger personal boundaries and find more peace in my life. And I think that I’ve been doing OK, but if there is a trigger for my anxiety besides hormones it is Christmas shopping. It’s like a damn cyclone that sucks me right in.

It starts with the gifts and then it gets me thinking about the celebrating arrangements with whom and when and the outfits and the food and the decorations. (Which will be the topics of future posts, I’m sure)

So even though I think we will be doing some things differently this holiday, it is clear to me that I still need to work on that whole consumerism thing. Although it is fun to buy presents, it’s not fun to stress out about it. And I have to say, “Hey Marketing Geniuses, you may have gotten me with that Fisher Price Stand n’Play Rampway and Just Dance for Kids, but I am in control from here on out.”

I hope, right?

I mean I do plan non-consumerism projects that help me teach the true meaning of Christmas, like baking cookies, looking at Christmas lights, doing crafts, stuff like that. But man, kicking that instinct to go into panic shopping mode is hard.

So there is a happy ending to all this: I did find the Fisher Price toy at another Target and Just Dance for Kids will be shipped to my house, thank you very much Amazon.

So, Friends, are you getting sucked into all the Holiday Hysteria? If not, how do you stay away from the cyclone.