1-year anniversary: Running and Presenting at the Rochester Writers' Conference

This weekend marks a very special anniversary. This weekend, I began running. When I started, I used Couch to 5K app and couldn't run more than 5 minutes without thinking I should call 911.

With each week, I became stronger until one day, I was running four miles. Me, four miles! I just didn't think that would be possible.

The benefits of running have been life changing.  First of all, I feel good.  My moods are less swingy, and I don't feel that deep dip of depression and anxiety as I used to feel.

I also feel stronger. For the first time, I feel less (not completely) detached to the number on the scale.  I think this might be because I feel more confident with what my body is able to do rather than what number it is.  This is HUGE for me.

So you are probably wondering how I am going to spend this anniversary. I would love to say running on a gloriously crisp autumn day or maybe buying some new, cute running gear.

But I am not.

I am spending it in the doctor's office due to an injury I sustained while running.  I was running backwards so I could talk to my new exercise buddy, and I tripped on a curb.  I went down like a ton of bricks, but carried on with nothing but adrenaline coursing through my veins and a strong desire to finish my workout.

But I was hurt and bruised. The pain wasn't going away. So here I am.

And after the doctor examined me, she determined that I did not break anything.  I have bruising and swelling.  She said that I need to be taking Advil and using an anti-inflammatory essential oil.  Phew.

This weekend also marks another anniversary - my first time speaking at the Rochester Writers’ Conference.  Last year, I was so nervous about presenting, but since then, I've had quite a few public speaking opportunities like Live in the D and Listen to Your Mother.  I am hoping to enjoy myself more this time.  

My presentation is about social media branding for writers. However, I am also moderating a discussion about women me writing which I makes me feel a tad bit nervous, probably because I think these women are amazing.

I met Jessica a few years ago, and had a chance to work with her since she a co-producer of Metro Detroit Listen to Your Mother. I am also a huge fan of her blog Four Plus an Angel; she is one of the most beautiful, eloquent writers I know.

And then there is Satori who I also let at Listen to Your Mother.  I also went to her monthly show, Secret Society of TwistedStorytellers.  Talk about amazing!  She is very talented, and I am in awe of her whenever she is on stage.

I am excited to meet Lynne Cobb who writes over at LynneCobb.com.  She has been writing over twenty years, and I am really looking forward to meeting her.

So I am pretty excited about this weekend and feeling kind of proud of all that I accomplished in a year time, if I do say so myself.

Are you celebrating any milestones?  Are you gearing up for a new project or goal?

On Domestic Abuse, Adrian Peterson, and Ray Rice

Last week, I was onLocal 4 Live in the D, and one of the topics was corporal punishment since Adrian Peterson has been in the news defending his child abuse allegations as corporal punishment.

When asked what I think about corporal punishment, I said that I do not agree with it; violence equals power.

As a mom, corporal punishment has never been an option for me.  I made a conscious decision to never use physical force to “teach” my child .  And I say “teach” becauseI think hitting only teaches kids to be afraid, and I do not want to use fear as a motivator.  Living in fear kind of does something detrimental to the human spirit, especially when the abuse happens with the very people who are supposed to protect you.  Self-esteem starts to chip away when you deal with issues of submission and trust.

Or the victims become the aggressors and the cycle continues.

The rebels who are able to find a thread of self-worth and build on it enough to exit the cycle are the lucky ones, but anyone who advocates for change has her own unique set of struggles.

My kids have pushed me to the edge of my frustration, but the dissonance of telling Nathan not to hit his sister as I am spanking him makes no sense.  I’m pretty sure that kind of mixed message will end up in thousands of dollars worth of therapy.

In the end, if I want to raise independent thinkers who practice impulse control and kindness, I have to set the example.  I am the adult. 

Rice and Peterson might have different views on domestic violence than I do, but then again, I am not part of NFL’s culture of infallible athletes.  I think when you have a culture that celebrates your abilities without making you accountable, very bad things can happen.  Obviously.

But it doesn’t just start when these men play professional ball.  I can remember in high school how some teachers tailored their tests so athletes could pass and play ball.

When I went to U of M Ann Arbor for my freshman year, young women doted on the football players.  I clearly remember these young women ironing the football players’ clothes while they played video games on their big screen TVs in their ginormous dorm rooms (which was kind of weird because I don’t ever being shown this deluxe dorm room on my student tour).

When I taught junior high, I remember athletes given preferential treatment and the unspoken pressure to make sure athletes had good enough grades to play.

So from a very early age, these athletes have an acute sense that the rules do not apply to them. 

These athletes have a golden ticket to a free (or deeply discounted) education.  They are given a chance to learn a new way of life, yet some still the buy into their infallibility

In a way, I guess these men are still victims.  I think the NFL exploits these men for what they bringing – money and lots of it – and do not care about making sure they are well-rounded, healthy individuals.  I mean, the NFL let them play even though they knew about the abuse . . .until social media made so much noise and Budweiser and other sponsors decided to publicly declare that the NFL needs to get a handle on this situation. 

Please do not misinterpret that I do not hold Rice and Peterson accountable for their actions; I most certainly do. It angers me to my core that someone thinks they are entitled to violate another human being, especially repeat offenders likePeterson. 

This system is broken, and the people who let this happen, like the NFL, are just as guilty for looking the other way.

Originally, I felt hopeless by reading all the media surrounding these cases, wondering if it could ever change. I mean, the NFL money is HUGE.

But then I would see hashtags pop up like #WhyIStayed and women talking about the deep, specific details of domestic abuse, things that were not often discussed publicly.  And I felt a glimmer of hope that maybe through these conversations, real change has a chance of happening.

What do you think about Rice, Peterson, and domestic abuse?  What do you think the role of the NFL should be?