1-year anniversary: Running and Presenting at the Rochester Writers' Conference

This weekend marks a very special anniversary. This weekend, I began running. When I started, I used Couch to 5K app and couldn't run more than 5 minutes without thinking I should call 911.

With each week, I became stronger until one day, I was running four miles. Me, four miles! I just didn't think that would be possible.

The benefits of running have been life changing.  First of all, I feel good.  My moods are less swingy, and I don't feel that deep dip of depression and anxiety as I used to feel.

I also feel stronger. For the first time, I feel less (not completely) detached to the number on the scale.  I think this might be because I feel more confident with what my body is able to do rather than what number it is.  This is HUGE for me.

So you are probably wondering how I am going to spend this anniversary. I would love to say running on a gloriously crisp autumn day or maybe buying some new, cute running gear.

But I am not.

I am spending it in the doctor's office due to an injury I sustained while running.  I was running backwards so I could talk to my new exercise buddy, and I tripped on a curb.  I went down like a ton of bricks, but carried on with nothing but adrenaline coursing through my veins and a strong desire to finish my workout.

But I was hurt and bruised. The pain wasn't going away. So here I am.

And after the doctor examined me, she determined that I did not break anything.  I have bruising and swelling.  She said that I need to be taking Advil and using an anti-inflammatory essential oil.  Phew.

This weekend also marks another anniversary - my first time speaking at the Rochester Writers’ Conference.  Last year, I was so nervous about presenting, but since then, I've had quite a few public speaking opportunities like Live in the D and Listen to Your Mother.  I am hoping to enjoy myself more this time.  

My presentation is about social media branding for writers. However, I am also moderating a discussion about women me writing which I makes me feel a tad bit nervous, probably because I think these women are amazing.

I met Jessica a few years ago, and had a chance to work with her since she a co-producer of Metro Detroit Listen to Your Mother. I am also a huge fan of her blog Four Plus an Angel; she is one of the most beautiful, eloquent writers I know.

And then there is Satori who I also let at Listen to Your Mother.  I also went to her monthly show, Secret Society of TwistedStorytellers.  Talk about amazing!  She is very talented, and I am in awe of her whenever she is on stage.

I am excited to meet Lynne Cobb who writes over at LynneCobb.com.  She has been writing over twenty years, and I am really looking forward to meeting her.

So I am pretty excited about this weekend and feeling kind of proud of all that I accomplished in a year time, if I do say so myself.

Are you celebrating any milestones?  Are you gearing up for a new project or goal?

10th Anniversary

This day, 10 years go, I was getting ready to go to our wedding.

Which means I have been married for 10 years.

10 years?!

Which would mean I would have known Harrington for 14 years.

Mind. Blown.

Our lives look nothing like they did 10 years ago.  A lot has happened.  New jobs.  New kids.  New home.  Our life has evolved.  And each change presented it’s own set of challenges and speed bumps.

Ten years ago when I married Harrington, I knew I wanted kids and a house to grow into.  But I often wonder, at the tender age of 25, how the hell did I know this was going to work.

The short answer is I didn’t.

The long answer is I knew we loved each other, and at the time, that was good enough.  As our lives unfolded, that love was the foundation for support – I supported his choices; choices in new jobs, choices for networking opportunities that took him away from the family, choices to recharge such as hockey.  And he supported mine; to be a full-time SAHM, going to the gym, blogging, and a brief, yet intense scrapbooking phase.

That support built a layer of respect for each other and our unique roles in our family.

Now my role is changing a bit since I am no longer a full-time stay-at-home-mom.  Sometimes I doubt this choice, as if I broke my promise to Harrington and if I am being honest, broke a promise to myself.

When I start to become overcome with guilt or confusion, he encourages me.  His cheerleading efforts range anywhere from making sure I’m well hydrated by brining we water as I slave over grading assignments to emptying the dishwasher to taking his shift with the kids.

 In those moments I realize how this whole marriage thing works for us.  We are a team.  And he wants me to be me.

Creating a space for each of us to evolve as we grow older – that is the truest love of all.

Like I said, each stage brought it’s own set of issues.  In the beginning of our marriage, to say that I *may* have had some trouble with compromise would be an understatement.  Bringing kids into the picture, although incredibly awesome, was not easy, either.

But now that we made it through some hard stuff (harder than they early fights of what brand fish sticks to buy and what grocery store to go to), I feel more confident in us as a couple.  Do I think we will not endure any more difficult encounters?  Absolutely not.  However, I do feel more confident in our ability hold tight during those bumps in the road rather than pulling off to the side and asking to get out of the car.

Yesterday, my parents brought us cake and a bottle of wine for our anniversary.  My mom said, “This is just the beginning,” as my dad nodded in agreement.

I totally believe this to be true.  And I can’t wait to see where the next ten years takes us.

Happy Anniversary, Harrington.

I love you.

 

10 years ago . . .

Put a Dress on and Show Up

Last Sunday, my DH and I celebrated our six year anniversary. I thought about the day of our wedding. I remember how much fun it was getting ready and how beautiful I felt, and six years and two kids later, how opposite I feel like that now. Tired eyes from no sleep and nursing boobs have a way of impacting my self image in a negative way, go figure. Anyway, all nostalgia aside, this was definitely a “for worse” year. As my Mom says, years like this build our history together as couple.

- Right before our five year anniversary, we found out I was pregnant with NT. We were so excited!! And then my Friday sickness kicked in, which is a lot like morning sickness, but way worse than the morning sickness I had all week. Literally, I was sick every Friday. And once I was really lucky to end up going to the hospital due to dehydration. (Hmm, that sounds so Hollywood, but it was actually really gross). The ER is no place for a sick pregnant lady, that’s for sure. But I survived, and DH came up with a great way to cheer me up: Take me to see Kathy Griffin for my birthday . . . yeaaa! (As you will see, this was one of the few high points).

- In attempt to make more room in our 1500 square foot house and convert our office into NT’s bedroom, we decided to finish the basement. Ourselves. And by ourselves, I mean my DH and my Dad with the occasional help from my FIL and BIL. My DH promised it would be done by January. But as everyone knows (even me who’s father seemed was always remodeling something while I growing up), it always takes twice as long and costs twice as much. It is just about done. . . . seven months later. It was sheer hell waiting for the basement to be done. I had some serious nesting urges that could not be squelched because the office stuff was in the soon-to-be nursery and could not be moved until the basement was done enough. *shudder* All I can say was that there were some primal screams from both parties. It should also be said no one should mess with a pregnant lady and her natural instincts. I felt like the declawed cat from Meet the Parents. He had the urge to pee, but couldn’t since he was potty trained, so he dug throughout all the house plants. I hope you get the picture.


- DH started a new job last summer under the pretense that he would be working from home. Then he got a new boss who wanted him to work at the office that was over an hour away. So now instead of having him home all the time, which was no good, he was never home, which was no good either. And when he was home, he was the crabbiest I had ever seen him. Ever. That was until he lost his job.

- DH lost his job six weeks after NT was born. I was dying inside thinking of no money, no health insurance. Losing a job in Michigan is NOT a good thing. We have friends that have been out of work for at least six months. NT has a surgery scheduled in September. GM is starting preschool in the fall. We were freaking out. He felt like he let us down as a provider. I felt like I could not be super supportive because I was only six weeks out of having a baby by C-section and an emotional wreck. This was a very dark time in our relationship with the basement being a very close second.


- Another upswing is that DH did end up getting three job offers and accepted a job super close to home. We also have awesome health care along with a huge cut back in his pay check. But he got a job, and I was damn proud of him!

- NT has been difficult since month three. I feel like I am loosing my mind, and my DH doesn’t always understand how tough it can be. Which is why I’m sure he decided to go away for four days on a golf outing with his friends. In the midst of trying to figure out why NT has trouble eating and sleeping, DH goes five hours away without his own car and no cell phone reception to play golf and drink with his college buddies. I almost begged him to come home if I wasn’t so mad I could barely look at him.


So that was our year. On our anniversary, I put on a dress, and we went out for dinner, and had dessert at our old Dairy Queen. To be honest, I was too exhausted to go out, but I just had to push through and show up. But marriage is like that. I have to forge ahead believing there will be “for better” years, too. I also believe that if I show up, it’s got to get better. And looking at the past few days, it has. So here’s to a “for better” year.