End of Summer 2015

You know when you are at an awesome party and you are having a great time.  The vibe is good, the people are chill.  Your favorite music is playing in the background, and there is an bottomless bowl of Sun Chips.  You take a drink from your red Solo cup and feel a wave of happiness wash over you.  You start to think, “This is the best time EVER!  I am never going to leave!”

As the night wears on, people start to drink a little too much and things start to get out of hand.  People start breaking shit and hitting each other.  You look around at the chaos, dumbfounded.  “What the hell happened?” you wonder.  “We were all just getting along and having so much fun.”

That’s August.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous before summer began.  The season can be brutally long, especially August.  And in the past, I feel morelike a cruise director than a mom.

This summer has been different.  It’s been easy.  Actually, it’s been the best summer that I can remember in the history of summers (although the summer between 9^th and 10^th grade when I went to Disney World for a dance competition and Cedar Point with my friend would be a close second).

The kids have been getting along and having fun with each other.  They have found their groove, and I am convinced that they love each other again.  (It was unclear if this was true during the last part of winter and throughout spring).

Even grocery shopping has been drama free.  I can get in and out of two stores in under an hour.  That is unheard of for me.  I feel like I should drop my mike every time we leave the store.  

We’ve had a good run, hanging out together all day and pushing the bedtime envelope later and later.  But it’s getting close to the time when we need to leave the party before gets totally out of hand.  I feel like we are one more late night bedtime away from having a full-out meltdown, similar to the meltdown had by the ladies of Real Housewives of New York in season 3 at Scary Island. 

I may find myself screaming this at 2:30 in the afternoon.

via GIPHY

The break from routine has been much needed, but we need it back.  Now.  Before the Best Summer Ever goes up in flames.

via GIPHY

August and the Tsunami of Guilt

Before I get to the actual post, I have two BIG favors to ask of you.  But will you please, please, please vote for me in these two contests.  The Skinny Scoop BlogHer11 Recap Post Contest in which the grand prize is for $100 Amazon gift card.  The Latte Love Contest grand prize is to introduce and interview the new milk mustache celebrity!  How cool is that?!  Be sure to vote for Erin R!  Thanks so much!  Mwuah, mwuah, mwuah!
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When I used to be a teacher, I DREADED this time of year. Although August is still sunny and hot, I knew in a matter of weeks, it was back to the reality of work. And as I revealed in Xtranormal movies one and two and mentioned throughout various blogs posts, teaching and I did not, how shall I put this, *mesh* very well.

But as a stay-at-home mom with two young Babes in Michigan, summer is supposed to be a glorious time of fresh air and fun times (at least for a few weeks before the thick, wet blanket of humidity covers the area, nearly smothering us to death). Summer is magical and fun and carefree.

And long. So very, very long.

I was surprised by these very strong feelings of wanting summer to end.

To be quite honest, I am exhausted to tears by mid-August. I just can’t keep up this late night/early morning pace for much longer. (My Babes are poster children for the saying, “Sleep begets sleep.” They sleep *less* the later they go down for the night. And don’t even get me started on the witching hour(s) that occur between 4:30p.m. – 7p.m.).

And then the tsunami wave of guilt crashes down on me:

• We have had so much fun this summer; why do I want it to end?
• I’m a horrible mom because what kind of mother wants to not spend time with her kids?
• This is Marie’s last summer before Kindergarten; I should want it to last FOR.EV.ER.

Between the anxiety of Kindergarten and the guilt of wanting the very short season of summer to end, I was beating myself up around the clock – even during sleep! I knew this because every morning, my jaw and shoulders would be tight with tension.

And then I came across this post by Wendi Aarons. I burst out laughing! (Well, as much as I could with my jaw wired shut with stress). So I am not crazy because this heat is stifling and having to be “on” for 14 hours a day with no break! This is normal! Thank goodness.

And then I read this post on Scary Mommy’s website by Yael Saar. Here is a quote that resonated deeply within my weary soul (but be sure to read the rest of the post because it is amazing):

But how about, just for a moment, we examine this: it is only human to get frustrated when our childcare duties balloon, while the rest of our responsibilities don’t come down even one notch. Add to that some record breaking heat-waves, summer viruses, a road trip, or perhaps cousins or in-laws visiting from out of town, and what you get by the time August comes around is a lot of cumulative stress. And now we still have the rest of August ahead of us, and by the time we arrive at the joys of the back to school prep, nobody should be surprised that it is mom who desperately needs a vacation.

One word: liberated. And if I had to add a second: relieved. Next time I think I am a bad mom, I’m going to remind myself that I am just tired. So very tired.

August (especially, mid to late August) is a tough time for me. For everyone, really. Thanks for these wonderful posts written by these amazing women. If you ever question what kind of effect your writing has on others, please remember how you were able to make at least one mom laugh out loud with relief and be kinder to herself next time she feels guilty for being human.

So how are you hanging in there these last few weeks of summer?