Showing posts with label trust myself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust myself. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Haters Gonna Hate, Makers Gonna Make



Have you ever had your child, so full of hope and light, come to you with a situation in which an adult did not practice kindness?  And  instead of ranting with a colorful assortment of 4-letter words, you come up with a brilliant bit of advice that just sparkles in all of that muckiness?

The other day, Marie decided she wanted to start a business and sell her drawings. Not one to crush that entrepreneurial spirit, I told her to stay on our street  and to take her brother with her.   This was the first time I let them leave the yard without me – yikes

They returned with no art, a snack size zip lock bag full of change, and their eyes twinkling with pride.

I was surprised when, days later, Marie talked about a person who was not want to buy her art. 

“You know,” she reflected, “there was only one person who said he didn’t my want art.  He said that he had enough art and would not be needing anymore.” 

She didn't look wounded, just puzzled as to how someone would not feel compelled to want her creations.

I really only had one thing to say:

“Haters gonna hate.  Makers gonna make.”

Marie said that she needed clarification, so I added this, "Some people are not happy and are uncomfortable when other people's happiness glows from within. They try to take the shininess away so everyone is dull and unhappy like them- these people are the haters. But people who create things because it makes them happy - these are the makers. And their glow should never be dimmed. Haters gonna hate, and makers are going to make."


Soon after this, I had a run in with my own hater. This person did not practice kindness when talking about my very first appearance on live TV.  Because I was nervous to be on TV, I was super proud of this moment; yet I could feel shame and doubt starting to snuff out my light.  And to make matters worse, this happened in front of my kids.  I think the universe was testing me to see if I was listening to my babbling attempts to instill wisdom into my child.

I was listening because that’s when it hit me – I am a maker.  I make things with love.  Haters are not down with that.  Ever.  And then I remembered Marie’s reaction to her hater.

Marie looked at her hater with confusion because she could not fathom how somebody would  not want a drawing that she loved so much.  She was not second-guessing if her drawings were good.  She wasn’t looking for validation; she was looking to share.  Her light remained bright in the shadows of the hater.


 That’s when I decided that I was not going to allow myself to feel small.  I was not going to let my light dim.  I *can’t* let my light dim.  If there is one thing I hate more than a hater, it’s a hypocrite.

So I may choose to hang this in my office, my bathroom, maybe even tattoo it to my wrist, but I have to remember this when people are mean.

haters gonna hate makers gonna make erin janda rawlings mommy on the spot

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

My Mantra for 2013

Happy New Year!

I love Christmas, and it was good (for the most part), but I am totally OK with getting back into a regular routine.  Well, whatever regular is going to be now that I work one night a week teaching that social media strategy for business class.

I am just a mashup of emotions regarding this new venture.  Seriously, I have not been so excited/nervous/guilty all at once.  My internal monologue goes a little something like this: “Yea!  I get a break and trying something new and exciting!”/”Wonder if I am horrible and this ends in epic failure?”/”I’m leaving my kids!  Wonder if they feel neglected.  Or wonder if they are too excited that I am leaving for one night a week.  I never thought of that.  Ahhhh!”

That last thought combined with teaching and blogging for my site and contributing to other sites and raising a family, I start to feel a deep and fast tidal wave of guilt crash over me.  I decided that I needed something other than yoga once a week to keep my sanity from washing out with the tide, something I can while I am getting the kids ready for school or cooking dinner.

On New Year’s Day, I read one of my favorite blogs, Flourish in Progress.  If you are not reading this blog, then you must stop what you are doing and add it to your reader.  Elizabeth’s blog post mentioned her word phrase for 2013.  It wasawesome.  And she ended the post with a question, “What would your word or phrase be for 2013?”

As the gifted, thought-provoking writer that she is, I was stuck in thought for quite some time.  The question floated in my brain, struggling for direction.

My usual response to reflective question is typically something to do with my personal boundaries.  But since this is a new year, I felt that I needed to mix it up and keep things interesting.

I pondered about all sorts of themes: meditation,acceptance, patience.  Nothing seemed just right.

And then, when I stopped thinking about it, The Motto for 2013 ran across my mind like a huge, lighted billboard.

Trust myself.

I am going to trust myself that I am going to listen to that tiny, whisper of a voice in my head. 

I am going to trust myself that I will honor my priorities and not cave to make others happy.

Every time that I’ve been disappointed, hurt or let down it’s because I ignored my instincts and didn’t trust myself.  I often let the fear of letting others down dictate my choices.  I sometimes wonder where I would be if I trusted myself and not let fear be the ruler.

So let it be known – in 2013, I hope not to wonder anymore. . .

*deep breath*

. . . because I will

trust myself.