My Intolerance for Intolerance

Alternatively titled: Baby Jammies New Friend

Hey, did I tell you about the time when Nathan and I went to Ikea for some pre-birthday shopping?  Probably not.  It was a pretty average visit: I picked up a super sweet chair for my office, I got some Christmas coasters, and Nathan picked out a new baby doll so Baby Jammies would have a friend.  Here he is with his babies:

Such a good daddy! 

I didn’t write a post about it because it seemed as interesting as telling you that I ate breakfast or went to the grocery store. 

But in the light of the presidential election, I was reminded that not everyone is color blind when it comes to race.  The day after the election, there were some rumblings at school that a few of the kids had some very hateful things to say about President Obama.  Not just differences of politics views, like tax cuts and health care (which I am sure that every elementary school child has developed through research and critical thinking).  No.  These remarks made by young children were disgustingly racist. I don’t want to type what I head because I would never ever want to be associated with such hateful comments; however, the general gist was that certain races should not exist.  There were also some comments about President Obama’s alleged lack of religion thrown in there, too.  (Which is a moot point since there is this thing called separation of church and state).

I am not so naïve to think that racism doesn’t occur in this country.  Hatred is a sneaking, pervasive snake that is constantly slithering and attacking.

However, I do think I was naïve to think that people would have enough sense to not spread their ignorance to the next generation.  If an adult would have said what these children were saying, it would have been considered a hate crime.

I am sick, angry, and sad that people my age still judge based on skin color.

I am infuriated that they are passing their prejudices to their children.

I know that learning about the world, both good and bad, is a part of growing up and going to school.  I think I took the bubble of I created for Thomas and Marie for granted, especially when I see how ignorance and intolerance is infiltrating my little ecosystem of acceptance.

I have been trying to teach my kids the importance of practicing patience, kindness, and respect, and I think the election was a perfect teachable moment for this.  Having said that, I do feel like a hypocrite when I say that I have no tolerance for intolerance and ignorance.

And I think I am OK with that.  Taking a stand against intolerance, whether it is based on race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation, is important to me, and I am doing my best to teach acceptance to my kids.

Have you run into this kind of thing?  How do you handle it?

Election Day and Faded Craft Time Memories

Election Day was not only the day I performed my civic duty (and wrote about my feeling of politics and motherhood at the Detroit News MichMoms blog), but it was going to be a cozy, fun day with both of my Babes home from school circa late 2010 when were always home together.  We were going to snuggle on the couch and do fun holiday crafts.

The day was going to be lovely.

*Magical.*

I started out my Pinterest perfect morning (after voting, of course) by making chocolate chip pancakes.  But that wasn’t enough for Thomas.  He also wanted mini frozen pancakes and waffles.  Only slightly defeated, I fulfilled his wish.  I wasn’t going to let a little hiccup like that ruin my day.

After I cleaned up, Marie played on the computer while I played games with Thomas.  We were harmoniously humming along until it was Thomas’s time to go on the computer.  He wanted to go on a website I didn’t like, and then when his time was up, there was an explosion of temper.  How could this happen?  I gave him extra time and plenty of warning!

Trying to stay positive, I shifted gears thinking that he would like to make his Christmas list for the grandparents who want to get an early start.  I was disheartened when he said he wanted everything.  Ev.ry.thing.

I started to feel my happy train becoming derailed, but in a valiant effort to prevent the inevitable, I made each Babe whatever they wanted for lunch. 

Which of course was not the same thing.  That would’ve been easy. 

So I made both macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets.  I like to think they were extra delicious since they were sprinkled with extra love and good intentions and not the bitter resentment of a dismantled day that I was choking on.

When I cleaned up (again), we sat down to do the Thanksgiving Tree Craft that I had seen on Pinterest.  (Side note: Pinterest did not have the*exact* tree and leaf template I wanted, so I made do with tracing my own arm and tracing an old foam leaf sticker.  I feel it gave it that extra homemade look).

When it was time to write down the things they were thankful for, Thomas didn’t want to do the craft.  He didn’t want to use the glue stick.  Then he delivered the lowest of all blows.

He said that he had nothing to be thankful for.

WHAT?!  Nothing to be thankful for?! 

I snapped.

All day long, I felt like I was spinning and giving in and moving forward.  I was exhausted.  And now sad.  I didn’t expect him to express his gratitude for all things motherhood that I perform on a daily basis for him, but I just wanted something to go right.

I could hear Thomas sneaking in and climbing on to the bed.  He whispered that he was sorry that he hurt my feelings.  Of course I accepted.  I was disappointed, not heartless.

There are several lessons learned on Election Day: often memories look better after they real and harsh corners have faded a bit.  Also, I need to get a handle on this demanding phase Nathan is currently experiencing.  It can really dictate how well an activity or a meal or an outing goes, and I don’t think it is fair that the whole world needs to revolve around him and his whims.

Do you struggle with how things used to be and how they are now?  How do you handle a demanding child?  Clearly, I need some help.

"Yeah.  I'm not feeling this."

She powered through the tantrum
and had a blast.  I wish I had her ability
to tune out.

My Philosophy on Discussing Politics

 

I love Facebook.  I love Twitter.  I am starting to take my relationship with Google+ to the next level.  I am flirting with Path.  Regardless of the platform, I love social media.  I love emotional transaction I have across all my favorite social media channels.

 

Having said all of that, there is a super fine line of harassing and over sharing.  There is even a finer line between sharing and preaching.  And nothing like a political election to completely erase any lines of civility and respect.

I don’t know about you, but I feel that my Facebook feed has been cluttered with people preaching yelling sharing their political views.  I totally support respectful, intelligent political debates mixed with a passion.  I giggle at the funny, witty comments (look at me! I’m in a binder)!

What I feign is the spewing of a personal view point as fact (without documentation – a leftover occupational job hazard from my English teacher days).  And what’s worse is the berating of an individual when he/she disagrees with said personal view as fact.

Here’s the thing: when you post something controversial in an inflammatory way, whether it be political or not, chances are people who disagree with you are going to comment.  I am so sick and tired of the bullying and retaliation.  I am tired of those who aggressively and irresponsibly use their freedom of speech.  I am exhausted that these individuals do not own that their way of belligerently communicating their views *may* not persuade others to see your point of view.  And I don’t know what is worse – the original domineering comment or the condescending way of expressing their point of view.

It’s aggravating.  It makes me itchy and cringy.  Some of these rants get so out of control that I find myself saying, “This is ridiculous!   I totally don’t agree with this at all.  Oh, wait.  I do agree.  My vision was just clouded by all venom of their negativity.”  Most of these hostile zealous tirades are between family members.  And I’m not sure if anyone has done the math, but after the election, we will all be in the same room in 3-7 weeks due to a little thing called the holidays.  This may not bother the instigators, but I am going to work out like a crazy person because I know that I will be relying on carbs and wine to get through those awkward moments.       

I just don’t see why more people don’t take a page out of this amazing book of the Twitter sensation @PaulRyanGoseling and use some humor to get the point across.  Here’s a wonderful example of how to influence without being an ass:

Genius!

Here’s my bottom line: Be passionate!  Be excited!  Be inspired! (And if you are a superstar, be funny)!

But don’t be rude and disrespectful just because other people have a different view.

It’s causing me anxiety.  And I am having a hard time not eating my feelings and gaining weight because my Facebook feed is lacking finesse and manners.

How are you handling the crazy political frenzy in your social media feeds?