Movies I Want to See, but Probably Won't

Yesterday, I was on Live in the D. I made it there despite the icy roads and killer sinus headache that totally answered the question, "What would an ice pick feel like if it was repeatedly jammed into my left temple?" Harrington, I am forever grateful that you drove me to the studio. Mom, you stayed with the kids who have been cooped up for days and started to act like caged animals - thank you from the bottom of my heart.

One of the main topics: Is it appropriate to bring infants to an R-rated movie? I said no, of course. But in a deep, dark moment during Christmas break/Snowpocalypse, I did casually flirt with the idea.

I have seen just about every kids movie since Princess and the Frog graced the big screen in 2009. And yes, I'm totally counting Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 even though I slept through most of it. (Dark room in the upgraded, cozy seats with no one asking me for anything? Seemed like the natural thing to do).

But I have a deep longing to see a movie that is neither animated nor has a talking animal as the protagonist.

I weighed my personal enjoyment of seeing a movie I want to see against the inevitable psychological damage to their gently psyche if we were to see an R rated movie (answer: probably less with Catching Fire and possibly more with Wolf of Wall Street although I can guarantee they have probably heard the F word at some time, especially during this E X T E N D E D break).

But alas, I am a full-fledged adult and realize this is a horrible idea, mostly because I prefer to use the money I would need for their counseling towards their post high school education.

So here is a list of movies I WANT to see now, but will probably watch On Demand in 1-hour increments after the kids go to bed:

Anchorman 2 - We speak the dialogue from Anchorman like a second language around here.  (“I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly”).  (“I’m kind of a big deal.”)  I will never stop loving Will Ferrell.

 Wolf of Wall Street - I am intrigued by this movie, although I know little about it.  My key point of interest is Leonardo DiCaprio.  Also, they say the F word a lot.

American Hustle: - I love the 70’s vibe with it, and it reminds me of the days when I could see movies like Casino and Good Fellas whenever I wanted.  Plus, I’ll see anything with Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper.  Now that I think of it, I think Silver Linings Playbook was the last movie I saw in the theater.

Catching Fire - I read the books and saw Hunger Games. I am compelled to see it. Also, Jennifer Lawrence.

So do you bring kids to R rated movies?  What is the last movie you saw in the theater? What do you really want to see now?

Never Say Never: Elf on the Shelf

I vividly remember when the Elf on the Shelf phenomenon hit the stores, I vehemently declared that it would never enter our home.  First of all, it is creepy.  This little elf spies on you all day and comes creeping around at night when you sleeping? Who knows where it will end up? In your room? Next to you? While you are sleeping? Kind of sounds like the horror film Chucky, no?

The Elf on the Shelf pretty much stood for everything I was against: motivation by scare tactics instead of teaching kids to be self-aware and value kindness. I don't want my kids to make good choices because they are afraid to make wrong choices; I want them to make good choices because it feels good.

But saying never is such an armature parenting move. The first rule in parenting club is never say never. (Said like brad Pitt in Fight Club).

So why did I break down and let Elf on the Shelf wander its way into your home?

Ever so slightly, I could see that glimmer of magic start to fade from Marie's eyes.  

She was trying a little too hard to sound excited about writing letters to Santa.  

I saw a dash of doubt across her face when talking about kids who might not believe in Santa.

She is in the 2nd grade, people! In my book, that is way too young to not fully buy into the magic of Santa.

So I sold my soul to the devil and bought an Elf on the Shelf.  Marie expressed hope that one would arrive at our house, and just like the movie, it appeared on our doorstep on December 1st.

Her eyes twinkled as she carefully opened the box and read the story to Thomas. She had her name all picked out in hopes of his arrival: Snowball.

Ah, poor Thomas.  He has had to take one for the team. He looked at the Elf as an evil, little imp.  He did not like the 24-hour surveillance system that would report all of his not-so-good choices back to Santa.  He was scared it would appear in his room (I totally get this fear). He named it Poopy Pants in retaliation and defiance: no elf is going to change him!

But he slowly came around. He has quietly read his wish list to Snowball Poopy Pants. He has told him when he thinks I'm being mean.  He's working on making his peace.

Today, Snowball wrote the kids a note telling them all the good things he has seen them doing with gentle reminders to practice kindness and pick up their toys.  Their eyes sparkled as they witnessed a bit of Christmas magic, but they also looked so proud of all the nice things Snowball said about them.

Besides Snowball eating popcorn, this has been the only other "creative" thing he has  done.
Usually he can be found doing something very non-Pinteresty, like hanging from a light or on a shelf.

Not only am I making my peace with Snowball, but I think he has bought me at least one year of Santa magic.

Yes, I sacrificed my parenting values for a shot to keep Marie's awe and faith in Christmas magic embedded in her childhood.

Small price, I think.

Have you ever said never on a firm parenting belief?

My Clip from Live in the D

 Yesterday, I made my very first appearance on live TV. Before I went to the Local 4 studio for Livein the D, I decided I needed to determine how I would measure my success.  I didn’t think it was realistic to hear thunderous applause from the viewers at home so here was my criteria:

Do not talk super fast. 

Do not interrupt and play that awkward game of double-dutch of inserting myself into a conversation. 

And most of all, do NOT ramble.  Like I said yesterday, once I start to tip toe off my point, I know that I will inevitably embarrass myself with a personal story that may or may not relate to the topic.

Speaking of topics, did I mention that one of them was discussing the American Pediatrics Association’s statement that condoms should be available to high school students.  I don’t even want to *think* where that unfortunate ramble would have landed me.

So besides condoms, we talked about tech-savvy toddlers, the Pennsylvania law that prohibits anyone touching a pregnant women’s belly, and the cutoff age for trick-or-treaters.

I had strong feelings about each of these, so at least I had that level of confidence working for me.  I knew that I was having a good hair day, so that helped me feel good, too.

I also felt that everyone at the studio made me feel really comfortable.  Everyone was very warm and welcoming, and Karen Drew definitely set a friendly tone for the panel.  This did wonders for lowering my anxiety levels!

So without further ado, here is the clip:

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/Live-in-the-D-Moms-talk-trending-topics/-/1719418/22690490/-/h1l3md/-/index.html

 I think once you talk about condoms for hight school students
 for your first live TV appearance, you can really talk about anything with ease after that.

What do you think?  Any way I could improve?  You know, in case they want me back again.

I’m Going to be on Live in the D!

This just in – I am going to be on a panel of moms on the local talk show Live in the D on Channel4.  We are going to be talking about controversial parenting topics with Karen Drew.

Um, did I mention it is live?

Am I nervous?  Yes, yes I am.

If there is one thing I’ve learned about myself (especially with teaching again and making friends at the new neighborhood bus stop) is that I talk a lot when I get nervous. 

A. lot.

I have been known to ramble on and on. Next thing I know, I have revealed deep, dark embarrassing secrets about myself.  It is as if all my work on creating healthy boundaries goes out the window, and I default to this chatter box that will tell you everything you never wanted to know about me.

Remember that scene in Goonies when Mama Fratelli is about to put Chunk’s fingers in the blender unless he starts talking.  So he spills his guts about everything.  EVERYTHING.  Even the time he brought fake puke in the movie theater and made everyone sick?

That very well could be me.  I am hoping to be articulate and graceful, like Gloria Steinem or Sheryl Sandberg.  But I am not going to totally discount the chance that I could be more like Kathy Griffin (who is totally awesome but not in a "family friendly live TV" kind of way).

So please be sure to tune in tomorrow at 11:00am on Channel 4 to see me on Live in the D.  If I end up sounding like a mix between Chunk and Kathy Griffin, just please pretend it never happened.

Have you ever been on live television?  Any tips on would be greatly appreciated.