Signs I May Need a Break: Spring Edition

My friend Angela, from Jumping with Your Fingers Crossed, recently vlogged about how May is the new December.

Preach on, Angela. 

I won’t bore you with the details of this week alone, but it has been the kind of week where I have been drinking coffee with reckless abandon.  

Afternoon coffee: #cantstop #wontstop

That new rule I was trying to institute about no more afternoon coffee?  Bwhahaha!  

I was so focused on making sure we made it to all of our activities that I didn’t even realize I was crabby.  I mean these were fun! exciting! activities!  How could I feel tired?

Fun at the History Walk Field Trip

Fun class activity.  And by fun, I mean I could hammer a nail in straight by the time it took
my 5 year old to put the whole thing together.

Fun at Open House Ice Cream Social (ours Flat Stanley went to New York)!

Fun with volunteering at Thomas's school again! This time I got to see
the firefighter show us around her truck, which was kinda cool since Thomas has
always wanted to be a firefighter.

Fun, right?!  It was, but the pace was in.tense.  It wasn’t until I had to make an extra trip to the library to pay an exuberant amount of fines when I saw kids walking to the hall for prom that I noticed it.

In the midst of fancy dresses and a haze of Axe Body spray, I was overcome with envy.  These young people were going out for (what seemed to me) a carefree evening of dinner and dancing (and probably drinking) while I was schlepping it to the library and then to Kroger to get organic celery for tomorrow’s lunch.

That envy shone a light on some feelings I wasn’t paying attention to at all.  Here is a list that indicated that I am in desperate need of a break:

I was sitting in my car at a stoplight when I heard a loud, irritating popping noise over my jams.  The lady in the car next to me was popping her gum.  My only feasible solution was to punch her in the throat like Melissa McCarthy in Identity Theft.  But I don’t have time to go to jail, so I clenched my jaw and seethed.  

My new Me Time is the 45 minutes I sit on uncomfortable bleachers while the smell of chlorine burns my nose during Marie’s swim practice.

 I savor the 1 minute 47 seconds it takes me to get the mail after I pick up Marie with Thomas from the bus stop.  That is 1 minute and 47 seconds that I am alone and am not subjected to their bickering, which commences immediately when they get into the house. 

On Tuesday, I became full of rage when painting my nails did not turn out the way I wanted due to the cheap nail polish I bought.  That rage was magnified due to the fact I was unable to find time to travel the 3 miles to Ulta to get the nail polish I needed. 

Watching TV at night seems too hard.  I am going to say that again: watching TV at night seems too hard.  That means sitting on my couch, keeping my eyes open, and following a plot is too difficult – which is unacceptable. 

Drinking water seems too time consuming.  This week it felt like filling up a glass of water and drinking it take up too much time, time that could be spent on doing much more important things that can’t get done since I was not home all week like laundry or cleaning the kitty litter box.

I think I am going to require some alone time this weekend, perhaps with a glass of wine.  I also think I am going to need a meal that does not consist of a.) An argument convincing Thomas why eating protein is important and b.) Me shoving the “meal” that I hastily prepared down my throat so I can clean up before we go to swim.

Is your May crazy? How are you handling it? 

My Sleep Deprived Rambles

I am newborn tired.  

You know that hazy, frustrated feeling that nights and nights of broken sleep deliver.  Between Thomas refusing to sleep in his bed because he feels crabby about being in his own bed and Marie hacking up a lung along with an ear infection, I feel so over-tired which then leads to becoming over-emotional which then leads me feeling depressed about everything from having to cook. another. meal. to the unsurmountable task of trying locate and pay medical bills.

I then end up screaming at the kids for something like bickering and refusing to get dressed.  I loose my focus and take twenty minutes to fold a load of laundry.  I then become confused why it is the afternoon and feel no sense of accomplishment.

Which is unfortunate because this has been a HUGE week for me!  I have a two-part series of raising boys with emotional literacy at The Mother Company.  A personal essay and an interview with Dr. Michael Thompson are both up and live so please please check them out and let me know what you think.  I have dreamed for writing for The Mother Company Ever since I met these amazing people two years ago at BlogHer!  I am just so excited about this!!

When I am not basking in the glow of my dream come true (which usually lasts 2.4 seconds before someone needs a snack or a drink of water or help with going to the bathroom), I am having some serious sleep deprived daydreams in which I fantasize about sleep and quiet.  I imagine that I get to sleep in a big bed with a fluffy, white comforter lots of pillows of varying firmness.  Alone.  As in by. my. self.  

I also envision myself taking a nap in a sound booth, like where my kids have had their hearing tested.  Why dream of a tropical beach when I can have peace and solitude in a sound-proofed room?  I think it goes without saying that I would want to be alone, right?

I am guessing by the nature of these fantasies that I am not only tired, but maybe in need of some me time doing some non-mommy stuff, no?

Does sleep deprivation make you *slightly* temperamental? 

Thank you. Signed, The Management: Holiday/New Job Edition

I wrote a post from the Management a while ago and decided it was time for another installment.  The idea originated from some twitter posts I saw about mothers writing notes around the house for certain things to get done and signed it from “The Management” to ensure it got done. 

Brilliant, I tell you!

 ________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Erin,

We realize that we are a bit late in recognizing all of your hard work during the holiday season, but better late than never, right?

First of all, you rocked this Christmas season!  You had all of your shopping done two weeks before Christmas and the wrapping done a week before the big day.  This is an all-time best since you have had children.  And we know it’s not because you have less going on.  It’s actually quite the contrary since you were job shadowing, taking Thomas to the hospital for his surgery, working on family photo projects, and working on your blog.  We’re not quite sure how you did it (although judging by the trail of Via coffee wrappers that follows you and the stockpile of peppermint mocha creamer, we think that may be a clue as to what helped you through those long days).

We would also like to comment you on how you handled your Christmas events and kept your personal boundaries intact with dignity (and fierceness that may have frightened others away).

We also thought it was quite something how you decorated your presents with old-fashioned paper, stamps, and ribbon.  We know that you told everyone it was because Marie wanted to experience Christmas like the American Girl Kit from the 1930’s, but we really know that you used this opportunity as art therapy.  For that, we applaud your efforts in finding peace during such a hectic season.

We know that this kind of excellency did not come without a few hiccups.  We know that Thomas may have clocked in some extra hours watching TV.  The plus side is that he cultivated a love for the children’s classic How the Grinch Stole Christmas staring Jim Carrey.  True, it was not the classic cartoon that you grew up with, but nonetheless, he loved it (although Christmas commercialism message may be lost because he tuned out when the Grinch’s heart grew two sizes too big).

Our hearts felt for you as you became unglued in the recovery room after Thomas’s surgery.  You couldn’t be there for Marie in the morning before school and take Thomas to the hospital, and you just lost it.  Since human cloning is not yet an option, we believe that you should give yourself a break.  As The Management, we believe it is in your best interest to practice more kindness towards yourself.

We also noticed that, in fear of forgetting pajama day, you made sure that Marie’s favorite jammies were clean and ready for her to wear on the special day.  We are so proud that you didn’t forget, however, we noticed that in your overzealousness, you sent her to school in her jammies.   It was not pajama day.  Although we noticed that Marie was Ok with it, we could not help but feel sorry for you as you cried in embarrassment.  Trust us: this will be a story that you will find humorous one day!

You bounced back and right into your new job.  You managed a funeral and your husband’s extended work hours beautifully all without having to order carry out (although we think that might just be your stubborn streak showing). 

Great job, Erin!  If we could just leave you something to work on, give yourself a break and if even the crockpot seems like too much effort, go on and order carryout until you get the bugs worked out with this new schedule.

Thanks again for all your hard work,

The Management