Monday, July 26, 2010

Mama Got a Brand New Look!

Hello, Friends! Take a look around. Notice anything new? I went from brunette to blonde (my actual hair color)! I also have a new header, profile avatar, and business cards. I felt the time was right to update my look since I was getting business cards for BlogHer. And since I am on the subject of BlogHer, where my real name will appear on my badge, and we’ve known each other for a whole year now, I thought I would formally introduce myself. Hi, my name is Erin. So nice to finally get that out there.

Anyway, enough of the formalities. Who is to thank for this great, new look? Lyndsay at Paper Dahlia Design Co. She is incredibly talented, nice, smart, and funny. She is also very reliable. Lyndsay is very easy to work with. Did I mention that she reasonably priced as well? Not only did I get this lovely new look complete with business cards, look how she delivered it to me:

I LOVE her! Lyndsay is the total package; creative and organized. She exceeded my expectations. Check her out at Go to this site to check out what the whole finished product looks like.

As talented and awesome and creative as Lyndsay is, I don’t think she realized what her service really did for me. I didn’t even expect the feelings that came along with opening that beautifully wrapped box of business cards and media disk, along with coordinating tissue paper and satin bow. When I looked at those cards, it was like I was seeing myself in a whole different light. There it was, in pink and turquoise, I am committing to this path of freelance writer/ blogger. I felt like I wasn’t on the fence about trying this new path; I am on it.

I have mixed feelings about this adventure. I am excited to finally be pursuing a lifelong dream of writing. I am scared because I don’t really know what I am doing. It’s not like I am in college and can haul myself to the guidance counselor to make sure I am taking the right classes to finish The Goal of Graduation. To feed into the scared and insecure feeling is the fact that some people don’t really get blogging and freelance writing. Here is a conversation at a local shop that I was hoping to buy a business card holder for these new awesome cards:

Snooty Shop Keeper: What is your new business?

Me: Well, it’s not actually a business. I blog. I am also working on getting published as a freelance writer.

Snooty Shop Keeper: Oh, Mommy on the Spot. I have heard of stuff like this. It’s where other mommies get together and offer advice, right?

Me: Well, not really. I don’t offer advice on my blog. Mine is more of a personal blog.

Snooty Shop Keeper: (sniff) Well, that’s nice. (as she hands me back my card, with a tight lipped smile while desperately looking around her empty store for something else to look at other than my eyes).

Me: Well, I didn’t want any of your gaudy crap anyway because it’s ugly. My 4 year old daughter can do a better job gluing bling to this piece of junk. And it would come minus the elitist attitude. So suck it, Snooty Shop Keeper!

Well, I may have just said that last part in my head, but I like to think that sentiment was relayed when I handed her piece of shit business card holder back to her while I mumbled something about going to check another store.

Well, along with all self-doubt is a healthy dose of guilt. I feel t a nagging twinge that I even have the desire to pursue something other than being a mom. Writing this sentence sounds ridiculous, but the feeling can be overwhelming. It feels self-indulgent to be doing any of this; going to BlogHer, writing my opinions for the world to see (as if the world cares), getting business cards, even buying a new bra (for $10 nonetheless) since I hadn’t bought a new one for non-pregnant /non-nursing boobs in 6 years.

But I am going to ignore this voice that says my endeavors of self-discovery are silly. I am going to shut down that feeling that I don’t matter. Because I do. If I don’t take time to make sure that I am a person outside of care giving, then who am I? If nothing else, I want the Babes to feel deep down in their souls, when it’s time for them to leave the nest, I will be OK because I have taken care of me, too. I want them to feel the freedom that they deserve to be happy and do something that makes them feel alive.

So,Lyndsay, you gave me much more than a beautiful new look and a box of business cards. I feel that I got a license to follow thru on this dream of mine. If I ever feel like giving up, I just have to look at my card to remind me that I am Erin, Freelance Writer/Blogger.


Kim Murray said...

Love the new look! Can't wait to see your business cards!

New York Mama said...

Your entire new look is incredible! That is soo you, Erin winking at me! Kudos to you for giving your all in this endeavor and all that you do! Being true to yourself is the best gift you can give to your babes not to mention yourself! xo

Diane said...

You have not only given yourself this gift, but your children, too. They see mommy as a complete, well-rounded person who is a human being, just like them. No one deserves it more than you. And as for the guilt? Throw it away! I've always said the etymology of the word mother must have come from Martyr! Not so for us!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the new look! It's so snazzy! Wait until Beth sees it! She's going to Flip!

Lyndsay Bullock said...

This post has not only made my day, but my whole week. You were a pleasure to work with and the fact that it was a new official look for you made our process unique and meaningful. As soon as I typed in your new title on that first draft of the cards, I knew it was going to mean something. There's something about business cards....they're little and seemingly inconsequential, but they really pack a punch. I know EXACTLY how you're feeling right now because I felt the same way a few years ago when I got my new cards. I thought "Okay, this is it! No turning back now!"

Congratulations on your milestone and super duper well wishes on the conference and anything else that pops up!

Ali said...

This is exactly what I was writing you about - The feeling like, I really want to be here, writing and writing, but what is it that I'm doing exactly? And why?

I think we just keep writing, and it will all come to us. Of course we matter and our thoughts are entertaining - and your blog - Izz beautiful!!

Aunt Becky said...

Bwahahaha! What an ASSHOLE. It's purdy here.

Daily Dose Diva said...

I love the new look!!! It's so fresh and totally you!

Erin Janda Rawlings said...

Thanks, everyone! I appreciate the comments!

Lyndsay, what you said about business cards, beautifully said! Thank you for everything!

Amy said...

I don't know who planted that damn guilty voice in all moms heads, but I'd like to hunt them down and shake the shit out of 'em!

I continually have to tell mine to SHUT UP! It's wonderful what you're doing. It will only make you a better mom too, because you will have something for you!

Love your new look! Swanky;)

Mom et al said...

Love the new you!!!

I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to explain to people what I mean when I say that "I am a blogger." Most of the time it's blank stares. I am so excited to go BlogHer this year and for once to be in a company of fellows. :)

I know what you mean by the feel of getting your new business cards. I just received mine and I was so thrilled to have something tangible to go along with the “I am a blogger” explanation. Oh, and I had a fun time explaining that one to people as well. Technically it's not a business...just for me right now...hope someday to actually be paid to write...more blank stares.

Oh well, at least we get each other. Can't wait to meet you in person!

Bossy Betty said...

Wonderful changes here--both in format and in attitude!! You go get 'em girl!!!

Kendra said...

Beautiful new look! And I'm definitely going to go check her stuff out. Nothing against VistaPrint (they did a great job providing me with free business cards), but I'd love to have something that feels a little more like me--especially since I have two distinct businesses. My actual income comes from day care, plus I do a fair amount of freelance editing. Both very "me," but it's hard to explain that I'm more than just one or the other. And I love your idea that you're letting your kids know Mommy will be okay without them; that's an important thing to remind them--and yourself.

Karen said...

All I want to say is: you go girl. Love the look, love your blog, good luck on your adventure. Hey do you have a button? I may have missed it. I would like to add it to my blog.

Anonymous said...

I love you header, and your blog. You're right-HOW are we just now meeting? I hope to meet you, for reals, at Blogher!

Erin Janda Rawlings said...

@Maria,who knew business cards would create that kind of feeling? Looking forward to going to a place where there will be no blank stares abotu blogging!

@Kendra Thanks so much! You should check Lynsday out. She's great!

@Amy, thanks! See you at BlogHer!