Writing, Motherhood, and Community

When I first shared my desire to write a book on Elizabeth Gilbert’s podcast Magic Lessons, I was just so excited to talk with her and become unstuck that I didn’t anticipate all of the ways that my life would change.

I think there is something that happens when a person reveals her truth and becomes honest about her purpose that the Universe arranges for things to happen.

Being able to connect with other people that are also pursuing their dreams (many of them also balancing motherhood) has been one of these changes.

Monica Sholar was one of those people.  I actually met her before writing my book, but we never got a chance to really talk.  One day, I received an email asking me if I wanted to be interviewed for her book titled Please Pardon My Dust: I’m Under Construction. This inspirational book shares not only the lessons learned about success, but the messy, unpredictable road each of the twenty-five women interviewed had to travel in order to arrive there.     

I am completely honored to be included among strong, accomplished women. Me - a stay-at-home mom who left her teaching career to raise her babies who had zero idea of what she was doing, let alone what her next career move was going to be.  Sometimes it just seems so unreal.

Hearing from Monica and others that telling my story has helped them is one of the best things about sharing my struggles in such a public forum.  But here’s the thing – when I hear that, I get inspired!  I am lifted up because someone is fighting the same fight.  I am not alone.

I think I spent the majority of my 38 years feeling alone.

Even though I feel a connection with these women I have met, we don't often get to meet face to face. 

But this weekend, I get to see some of them in person.

Monica has partnered up with All Things Detroit for the official book launch of Please Pardon My Dust:I’m Under Construction. It will be on Sunday, April 3^rd from 12-6 at Eastern Market Shed 3.  Tickets are $5 at the door or you can by them here. 

Before the book launch, I am going to hear Elizabeth Gilbert speak at Renaissance Unity Church!  I am super excited to hear her talk about creative living and Big Magic in a room full of people who are wanting to work their way out of fear towards their passion!

I hope to see some familiar faces at these events!  It’s going to be a great Sunday!

If you are going to go, feel free to tweet or message me!

Follow up

This summer, I started writing my book. 

Starting is the hardest part.  I had wanted to start since last fall, but I just couldn’t.  I was stuck.  With both kids in school full-time for the first time ever, I couldn’t figure out how to fit in writing a book along with blogging, teaching, and managing my primary caregiver responsibilities.

Elizabeth Gilbert and Cheryl Strayed helped me get to the root of being stuck: fear. 

It was totally fear.  However, it was so pervasive, I didn’t even recognize it.

Fear looked like the low-grade sadness that I thought was just the result of a freezing cold winter with unpredictable snow days.

Fear looked like busyness.  I was too busy managing calendars, my part-time work-from-home job, doing laundry, and cooking meals to even *think* about writing a book.

 Fear convinced me that writing would make me a bad mom.  I would become so consumed that I would become emotionally unavailable to my kids as they foraged for cold cereal to eat for dinner while navigating around piles of laundry and dirty dishes. And nothing is worse than a mom who neglects her kids, especially if it is to be creative.

But after five months of writing, I can say with full confidence that those fears are completely unfounded.  I actually feel more balanced and present when I am consistently creative.  I also like that my kids are seeing how to fit creativity into their lives as a grownup.  They are also feeling the lightness that comes with being engaged in work I love.

I’ve also had to make some adjustments to my blog routine.  I have discovered that it is difficult to post once a week and keep up with writing.  So for now, I am dialing back.  I will be starting a newsletter, and my first one will go out this weekend.  If you are curious about how the book is coming along or social media updates that you might have missed along with some other content of mine, here is the link to sign up.  I would be honored if you did.

I am not saying that it – the creative process of writing a book – is easy.  I am working through my adrenaline addiction of playing Tetris with the color blocks on my calendar as I try not to overschedule my day.  I have found that exhaustion, both physical and mental, is the quickest ways to kill my creativity. I am waking up at 5:15am to write before the kids get up for school which means curbing my voracious need to read the whole Internet before I go to bed.

This journey to put my story to paper is difficult.  The actual showing up and having the courage to write is emotionally taxing.  I am easily distracted by my “mothering” tab that is always up and running. 

But I made a contract with Inspiration to write this book.  This shift in thinking inspired by Elizabeth in Big Magic* has helped me stay motivated.  Just like I honor all of the other contracts in my life, I  am committed to seeing this book to its completion.

But it is so worth it.

I feel more “me” than I can ever remember.

**I was not compensated for this post.  I just think that everyone should know about this awesome book.

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Since I am committing more time to writing my book, my blog might not be as active.

I have a newsletter that I will start sending in October.  You can sign up here.

You can always find me on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.  I would love to connect with you there, too!

Book Review of Big Magic By Elizabeth Gilbert /Nightline Segment

UPDATE:

Here is the link to Nightline segment:

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/video/eat-pray-love-author-back-big-magic-33998317

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As you may already know (since I blogged about it all summer here, here, and here), I was chosen to participate in Elizabeth Gilbert’s Magic Lessons podcast.  The podcast expanded on themes found in her new book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. 

Nightline, on ABC, will be airing a segment including an interview with Elizabeth Gilbert about Big Magic and my experience with the Magic Lessons podcast.  Eek! How exciting!  The segment will air on Wednesday, September 23.  Check local listings for the time, but in Michigan and New York, it will air at 12:30am.   

I was given a copy of Big Magic* which comes out on September 22^nd and is published by Riverhead Books.  I L.O.V.E. this book.  Love it!  I highlighted passages and tagged pages.  I was reading it as if I was studying for a big exam and did not want to miss one juicy bit of insightful inspiration.

As the title implies, it is about how to live a creative life without fear.  She examines the components of a creative life and how fear (or more accurately our fight with fear) gets in the way of embracing our creativity.

For instance, she personifies Fear as Creativity’s "conjoined twin."  So if we try to kill fear, it will inevitably kill our creativity. Elizabeth sets boundaries for Fear that she delivers in a speech directly to Fear before starting a new project.  How cool is that?! This metaphor totally reminds me of one of my favorite scenes in Eat Pray Love where she is meditating in the ashram in India and while meditating, invites each fear into her heart and accepts it with love.

Elizabeth also stresses the importance of living a balanced life while embracing creativity.  She talks about how people often follow the “tortured artist” model of creative living, and offers a different approach. Instead of thinking an artist needs to suffer, she suggests finding a path rooted in joy, curiosity, and self-forgiveness.

She talks about how balanced, curious people are consistently able to *do* the actual work, the real doing and making of our creative visions, instead of dancing around it with Fear.

As Elizabeth says, we become partners with Inspiration and Creativity as opposed to becoming their adversaries. This just made so much sense to me.  I would feel selfish for taking time away from the preexisting contracts in my life.  But when I made my contract with Inspiration to write my book, it felt concrete and solid, like any other contract I had with a tangible human being.

 The best part is that she doesn’t just talk about these ideas in a lofty, idealized way; she gives concrete examples of how she has worked these issues out in her own life.

It’s not very often that a creative person opens up so much about their approach to creative living.   I feel that most people live creative lives under a veil of mystery, eluding that the work magically becomes finished products.

Elizabeth talks openly about the choices she makes when she’s entered a new contract with Inspiration. She talks about her failures and how she reframes them.   Elizabeth also talks about how she truly defines success as a creative person (spoiler alert: it has nothing to do with money).

Most importantly, Elizabeth urges us to remain curious about life.  Regardless of whether you perceive yourself as creative or not, by stepping away from fear and towards curiosity, we are able to live juicy, interesting, and fulfilling lives.

Big Magic is in stores September 22nd. 

**I was not compensated for this post.  I just think that everyone should know about this awesome book.

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Since I am committing more time to writing my book, my blog might not be as active.

I have a newsletter that I will start sending in October.  You can sign up here.

You can always find me on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.  I would love to connect with you there, too!

Magic Lessons Podcast with Elizabeth Gilbert: The Big Check-In Episode

You know when something so exciting happens and you want to shout it from every mountaintop?

But you can’t because it’s not the right time yet?

Well, I’ve been holding in some juicy news for over a month now, and I can finally share it.

**Takes a deep breath**

I met Elizabeth Gilbert this summer!! 

Remember when I was chosen to be a part of her Magic Lessons podcast that was in tandem to her new book Big Magic that is all about living a creative life beyond fear?

I posted on my blog that in that podcast, she gave me some amazing advice and the 3 assignments:

Create a sign for my studio (formerly known as my office) door to let my family know when I was working.

Polite, yet effective.

Hang this quote by my computer.

This quote.

Start writing my book.  I do not have a picture of this, but I do have over 13,000 words already - yay!

She said that she would like to check in on me during the summer to see how I was doing with the assignments.  I totally thought it would be another wonderfully inspiring phone call.

But it wasn’t.  

I actually traveled to New York City to meet her.

In person.

To have a conversation about writing and inspiration and how I progressed with my book.

EEK!

You guys, she’s the real deal.  She’s kind and warm and supportive.  And funny! Oh, goodness is she funny!

I can say that she is one of loveliest people I have ever met.

I still get choked up when I think about this.

You know, I had been meditating since last November to meet a mentor that could nudge me in the right direction of starting my book.

I never imagined that this is what the Universe had in store.

My heart is bursting with gratitude for this opportunity to have met her and the encouragement she gave me to become unstuck.

Take a listen to our in-person conversation in this episode of Magic Lessons.  Elizabeth sure gives me another huge surprise!  Also, be sure to hear how the rest of the women stepped away from fear and towards their creative endeavors. So inspiring!

If any of the other podcast participants want to connect, please email me!  I would love to hear about how this changed you.

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Since I am committing more time to writing my book, my blog might not be as active.

I have a newsletter that I will start sending in October.  You can sign up here.

You can always find me on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.  I would love to connect with you there, too!