Friday, June 3, 2011

Can vs. Should

I have felt exhausted. I blame birthday season. What the numbers didn’t show was the mental toll it took on me, seeing as I downplayed all the drama. I just feel there was a lot of emotion attached to each event. Not to mention that Harrington was gone for a lot of the season.
I was feeling like I was *waiting* to see what everyone else’s schedule was so maybe, just maybe I could *squeeze* a little, itty bit of me time in. And sometimes that me time was an eye appointment.

And to make sure that I was getting everything done, I fell out of balance. I was drinking copious amounts of coffee and looking a bit too forward to wine at the end of the day. Everything got done, but it was at the expense of my health. I was having a hard time sleeping, and my stomach was always in knots. So I guess a lesson I learned with all this is this:

Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.

Sure, I can plan a ton of events and do all the cleaning and do all the running around and do all the cooking and do all the cleaning and do all the laundry (and did I mention cleaning, because I feel that I went through gallons and gallons of Windex, bathroom cleaner, and dust spray). But in the end, I felt like I was hanging on by my fingernails. And I feel like I just need to respect the face that I am hardwired for stress and have a hard time decompressing.

To be honest, I didn’t realize how much of a toll this took on me until after a few weeks of not having to get emotionally ready for a party, just how light I felt. The Babes and I were outside enjoying the sunshine while I was planting our garden (another post, because this year, I went all out), and I felt much more relaxed. It was like I had more mental real estate space available to enjoy the moment instead of worrying about the next.

I realized that I had not been enjoying The Babes. I also did not have the energy to do the things that I enjoy. Gym time and yoga weren’t happening. I was disappointed by the quality of my posts. And I was resenting being last on the list while I squared everyone else away, hoping that there was a scrap of time for me.
I need to find my groove again and restore balance to my life.

(Also, I know I was away from blogging for too long when Skinny Scoop sent me an email wondering where I was).

So I thought this would be a great time to create a survey. How do you recharge your batteries? Clearly, what I was doing was not working. So please, take a second to answer the survey. I plan on writing a follow up post on this.

I am glad to be able to spend more time writing and connecting with you. Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!


Elizabeth-FlourishinProgress said...

Amen...just because I can doesn't mean I should. I used to spend all day doing stuff so when my daughter and husband came home, the house would look nice and there would be clean clothes and the errands would be finished. I never made time for myself and it really made me feel unwell. Now, I try not to do things, even if I can, if it means that I have to give up the 20 or 30 min a day I really need to recharge my batteries. It can wait.

Sandra said...

It's quite possibly something in the air! Glad you found the strength to get a post written, and really, sometimes, is that not the way to recharge our batteries...I didn't notice: bloggign on the survey!

Mom's Home Run said...

I recharge by going out on a run! Full throttle!

Mom's Home Run said...

Here I am again: I really like your blog, and I've added you to my bloglist!

Erin Janda Rawlings said...

Elizabeth, unwell is the best word to describe how I was feeling. And you are right, I should not give up 20 minutes of me time in order to just get stuff done. You are one wise woman.

Erin Janda Rawlings said...

Sandra, you are RIGHT! I forgot blogging. Jeez! What's up with that?! *smacks forhead with hand*

Erin Janda Rawlings said...

Mom's Homerun, yea to exercise and caffine!! And thanks so much for adding me to you blog list!!