Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Bedtime Shenanigans

I’m going to start out by saying that I don’t know how I am even finding the energy to pluck at the keys of my keyboard since bedtime shenanigans has been costing me my sleep and, in turn, my sanity.

It’s not like all of a sudden Thomas was around an hour to go to bed and then up  1-3 times during the night.  Like any bad habit, it started with good intentions and then slowly snowballed into the largest snowball in the history of snowballs.  (OK, that last part may have been exaggeration.  Sleep deprivation, among many things, blows my perspective out of wack).

It started with a bad dream here and there.  So of course I would let Thomas sleep with us.  And then his head *may* have grazed the pillow before he swore he had a bad dream.  Next thing you know, he is coming in to sleep with us.  And once I bring him to his room, he comes back to our a few hours later.

He started out sweet and would move when I would ask him to give me some more room on *my* pillow.  Gradually, he would sleep right in the middle and when I would ask him to please move, he would declare that he was sleeping there.

Next thing I know, I am sleeping face to face with Baby Jammies and Thomas, who refused to give me any room in my own bed.  MY OWN BED!!

that’s when I started to slowly snap.

What was worse was that the hours of broken sleep were totally screwing with my head.  I couldn’t focus.  I just would sit in a semi-catatonic state while watching Calliou and checking my Twitter so I wouldn’t fall asleep.  I could feel my motivation for to do anything, even things that make me happy, evaporate.

Then on Friday, I watched The Super Nanny marathon.  And it clicked.  I am in charge here.  And because I am in charge, I need to change this. Because I am sucking at everything with this downward spiral of non-interrupted sleep.

But then there is a part of me that whispers to me in a patronzing tone that I shouldn’t be such a hard ass.  Thomas very well could be our last child, and he is not going to want to sleep with his parents forever.  I should soak it up and be happy.  Did I mention that he would bring me a stuffed animal to sleep with because he had Baby Jammies?  Ugh.  It was like my heart string were being yanked rather than delicately plucked.

As much as I want to cuddle all night long and then spend all day with Thomas without any downtime or nap time, I needed to appreciate the fact that I need some time to recharge.  And the hours of 9pm - 6am seemed like a totally appropriate time to do so.

So last night, I took Thomas to bed every time he came into our room, Super Nanny style.  I gently said he could come in the morning and cuddle, but needed to sleep in his room.  He cried.  I wanted to cry.   (Except that would have required too much energy).  But in the end, he seemed to have the idea that he needs to get rest in his own room.

I wish I could have some solid conclusion, but all I can say is that I see I light at the end of the bedtime shenanigans of the bedtime routine.

How do you deal with bedtime shenanigans?  Do you feel like the worst mom in the world because you decide to put up some boundaries to protect your sanity, or is that just me?

With Baby Jammies

*3-28-13 - I may have spoke too soon since shortly after I posted this, Thomas was up and screaming to get in our bed.  And then 2 hours later, again with the getting up!  It kind of felt like I was in perpetual triangle pose, the most uncomfortable pose that makes me feel angry.  That light at the end of the tunnel may be further away than I originally thought.

Ironically, today is Thomas's 4th birthday today.  And I am as tired as I was the morning I gave birth to him.   

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