Thursday, March 14, 2013

A Day Alone on the Beach

Otherwise titled: The Break that I Needed

For the past couple of weeks, I have been lamenting my need for a break.  And not the “grocery shopping alone” kind of break.  One where I can breath deeply and have time to collect my thoughts.  

Well, I got what I wished for.  I had five whole hours to myself on a beach that looks like this:

And here is me, relaxing.  Actual proof that I peacefully sat on the beach.

The hat was a necessary purchase due to an application 
error of sunblock which I painfully discovered when I
 was using a scratchy round brush to do my bangs.  
Holy hell, did it hurt!

What these photos don’t show is that it was windy, and I was bundled up with a towel.  (Please note that I am not complaining because I know that I would be freezing my ass off at the bus stop).  It also does not show that my mind was not as peaceful as the view, no matter how hard I tried.

I really tried to let my thoughts drift through my mind, as they say in yoga.  No such luck.

At first, I was totally grossed out by the seagulls that were swarming around even though I had no food.  I looked around to see what was going on, and there was a lady.  *Hand feeding a seagull!* 

Really?!  Who does that?  It was like she was basking in the attention, as I judged by her puppy dog eyes gazing at said seagull that clearly had not missed any meals.  

From there, I wondered if a seagull has ever died from eating too much processed white bread and beef.  Is it possible?  

Because I feared the seagull expected the same handout from me, I went for a walk.  It was beautiful, sunny, and not too hot.  The Gulf of Mexico water was tranquil shade of blue.  As I tried to stay focused on the calming water, I was completely distracted by all the people who were so deeply tanned.  I do not think the citizens of Marco Island (and I do say citizens because it was totally obvious by their skin color that they have been enjoy months, if not years of constant summer sun) have received the message that the UVA rays from the sun cause skin cancer and that baby oil is no longer an approved product for sun safety.

Listen, I know how petty this all sounds.  So let me explain.  Letting my mind go to these random places was like a vacation because for the past month we have been in the process of selling our home and purchasing another one.  The “what ifs” surrounding this along with my mommy duties and household responsibilities and the new job stuff and blogging commitments have been running relentlessly in my mind.  Was my mind quiet?  No.  Did it enjoy silly things to ponder?  Yes.

I’ll take what I can get.

And I know that I casually dropped the information about selling and buying a house, but until we no longer have the keys to our current home and possess the keys of a new home, I am just scared to linger in my good news in fear that it will all be taken away.

Did I achieve a peaceful zen-like state?  No.  Did I have fun?  Yes.  More importantly, I feel refreshed and ready to go back to my regularly scheduled  life with much less crabbiness.

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