Alternatively titled: Finally, Something I Can Do Without Feeling Like a Big, Fat Failure!
Here’s another update of the Whole Living 28-Day Challenge. (And in case you missed my report of the first day, read this). We have to keep a stress log of all the things that stress us out. Clues to this would be muscles tightening, breathing quickly, etc.
At first, I thought, “How silly! Of course I know what stresses me out! I’m a vent-er, not a bottle-er.”
And then I remembered last year when I woke up and couldn’t open my mouth because I had been clenching my jaw so tightly at night.
And then there was the time I broke out in a huge rash, and the dermatologist asked me if I was allergic to anything. I giggled nervously and answered, “My life.”
He didn’t laugh.
And then there’s all the times my mother tells me to stop hunching my shoulders up all the time.
So, OK, there may be a *few*things that get me all keyed up.
Instead of droning on and on and on, I think it can be boiled down to one word: relationships.
Nothing stresses me out or makes me loose more sleep than relationships.
I’ve discussed my mission here many o’ times about personal boundaries and healthy relationships.
And for the most part? I am doing better. Much better.
But it still stresses me out because I think I assume too much responsibility. Not in a I-want-to-control-EVERYTHING-I-will-make-this-work kind of way. More in a relationships-are-important-to-me-I-want-them-in-my-life kind of way.
So the issue lies somewhere between what I want and what people are able to give.
So this year? This is the year I make peace with that issue. Because my goal is to find more Happy. And I can’t find Happy if I am still hanging out with Frustration and Disappointment, now can I? And even though Frustration and Disappointment are not fun to hang out with, breaking up with them is hard. Remember that boyfriend that you knew was no good, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to make the break official because you rather be miserable than be alone?
Well, I know miserable. And miserable can, in the wise words of Kathy Griffin, suck it!
But this kind of change takes time and a lot of work. So thankfully, this challenge has built in some time for yoga and breathing. Hopefully, by the end of the twenty-eight days, it will be a new habit.
And besides, when I take a good look around, I’m not really alone.
So let me ask you: What kind of misery are you hanging on to? What do you do to find happiness?