And didn’t everyone have a huge amount of anxiety at work?
I thought everyone cried and curled up in the fetal position on Fridays, waiting to recover from the hell that had become her life.
Didn’t everyone feel an acute sense of malaise on Sundays knowing what was going to happen in the next twenty-four hours?
So when my life-long dream of becoming a teacher didn’t “work out,” I pretty much felt like I failed.
Then I became a stay-at-home mom. In the beginning, I was confused. I didn’t know how to view myself as a mom. Then there were all these scary physical developmental issues surrounding Marie. I didn’t know what was wrong because we were always in a holding pattern, and I thought it was all my fault.
After she was fine (and more on that on Thursday), I worked pretty hard to get that under control with the help of a very talented therapist. I started to sort through some of my emotional baggage and redefine who I was. And then that very talented therapist said something that changed the course of my life: “Why don’t you start blogging?”
I didn’t even know what that was. But here I am a year and some change, blogging and raising Babes. And I love it and where it is taking me. I feel like this whole new world of opportunity is opening up:
I am starting to lay the ground work as a freelance writer.Can you believe I did something to inspire the Girl Next Door Grows Up? Me? What blows my mind most is that she INSPIRES me! She has helped me keep this momentum of good feelings going. She has helped me take a day I HATED (Friday) and helped me love it with her Feel Good Friday posts. So not only did Friday turn into a good day, but all week I was looking for the good so I had something to write about. And guess what? It was there, sometimes in big moments, sometimes hiding in conspicuous corners, sometime just in a memory, but there was good all around.
I am meeting some amazing people that I am proud to call my friends because.
I am gaining a better understanding of myself through writing.
I have bad days, but I am generally happy and feel like I am doing what is right for me (as
opposed to feeling sick to my soul)
I am feeling a sense of community I have never experienced before.
And then this.
At 32 ¾ years of age, I thought my life had already been lived out. But this second act, this reinvention is just the beginning of a new era. The journey took an unexpected turn, and I am so grateful to the people I have met. Now when I wake up, I feel excited to have a place to write.
I feel alive.
I have said this before, but it’s worth saying again: I used to be a cynic when people would say that if you love what you do, good things happen. I think I didn’t understand that because I hadn’t found The Thing that I truly love to do.
Now that I have found writing and blogging, I can’t help but not believe that.
So, Friends, who inspires you?