Tuesday, September 21, 2010

“Why don’t you start blogging?” The Beginning of Act 2

Before I stayed home with The Babes, I was pretty unhappy, and by unhappy I mean miserable. Of course I didn’t realize it at that time. I just thought everyone was so incredibly tired in the morning.

And didn’t everyone have a huge amount of anxiety at work?

I thought everyone cried and curled up in the fetal position on Fridays, waiting to recover from the hell that had become her life.

Didn’t everyone feel an acute sense of malaise on Sundays knowing what was going to happen in the next twenty-four hours?

So when my life-long dream of becoming a teacher didn’t “work out,” I pretty much felt like I failed.

Then I became a stay-at-home mom. In the beginning, I was confused. I didn’t know how to view myself as a mom. Then there were all these scary physical developmental issues surrounding Marie. I didn’t know what was wrong because we were always in a holding pattern, and I thought it was all my fault.

After she was fine (and more on that on Thursday), I worked pretty hard to get that under control with the help of a very talented therapist. I started to sort through some of my emotional baggage and redefine who I was. And then that very talented therapist said something that changed the course of my life: “Why don’t you start blogging?”

I didn’t even know what that was. But here I am a year and some change, blogging and raising Babes. And I love it and where it is taking me. I feel like this whole new world of opportunity is opening up:
I am starting to lay the ground work as a freelance writer.

I am meeting some amazing people that I am proud to call my friends because.

I am gaining a better understanding of myself through writing.

I have bad days, but I am generally happy and feel like I am doing what is right for me (as
opposed to feeling sick to my soul)

I am feeling a sense of community I have never experienced before.

And then this.
Can you believe I did something to inspire the Girl Next Door Grows Up? Me? What blows my mind most is that she INSPIRES me! She has helped me keep this momentum of good feelings going. She has helped me take a day I HATED (Friday) and helped me love it with her Feel Good Friday posts. So not only did Friday turn into a good day, but all week I was looking for the good so I had something to write about. And guess what? It was there, sometimes in big moments, sometimes hiding in conspicuous corners, sometime just in a memory, but there was good all around.

At 32 ¾ years of age, I thought my life had already been lived out. But this second act, this reinvention is just the beginning of a new era. The journey took an unexpected turn, and I am so grateful to the people I have met. Now when I wake up, I feel excited to have a place to write.

I feel alive.

I have said this before, but it’s worth saying again: I used to be a cynic when people would say that if you love what you do, good things happen. I think I didn’t understand that because I hadn’t found The Thing that I truly love to do.

Now that I have found writing and blogging, I can’t help but not believe that.

So, Friends, who inspires you?


The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

Holy crap that was fantastic! You and I are on the same wavelength, but you say it better than I do.

You know, I am honored by the shout out, but you know what? We are the same. I am no different than you. Really and truly. We are both on an amazing blogging/writing/life journey that neither of us could find at Mommy and Me. Right?

Non-bloggers are missing out. We are very lucky.

And I cant wait until Thursday.

Moonspun said...

Feeling alive...that's a wonderful feeling. Blogging is an amazing thing both for yourself and the community.
My husband inspires me. I've stretched my limits more in the 4 years I've known him than most of the rest of my life.

Lady Stape said...

YOU do! I totally want to be a blogger like you when I grown up. Some day...some day...I feel like I am just taking baby steps here. I'm hoping some day I will have people actually want to read the crap that I write. Right now, I feel like it is just my mom (she has to) and you (you are just too polite). I hope to get better at this. :)

Kim Murray said...

Some people talk about things happening and some people make them happen. You are making it happen and as Mark Victor Hansen (Chicken Soup for the Soul co-author) so aptly puts it, “When you have purpose, you don’t have time for negativity.”

purplume said...

I am so touched by your sharing. Thank you. I am inspired by a loving couple I know. They are great role models for living a loving life.