If you follow me on Twitter or are fan on the Mommy on the Spot page on Facebook, then you know I have been bitching up a storm about getting ready for my Treasure Sale (which sounds way better than garage sale). (garage sale sounds like I have junk, whereas a Treasure Sale sounds like I am parting with my Beloved Possessions because they no longer fit our lives). During the process of the Treasure Sale, a few Intangible Treasures have been discovered.
1. I think that I am more overwhelmed than I realize. Or maybe sifting through almost ten years of stuff is just too much while taking care of little ones. But I felt that I almost had a mental breakdown during this time. I don’t know, but I just feel drained. Is this normal part of purging? I don’t know. Or is that just a normal part of taking care of a 1 year old and a 4 year old?
2. I think that I am lonelier than I care to admit. It’s like I am never alone, but often feel lonely. I am taken back by this because I feel that I am kind of hitting a stride in my mothering skills and have created a nice circle of friends. So why am I like this? I think it has to do with the face that the person I share my life with just doesn’t get what it’s like to be a mom, let alone a stay-at-home one. It’s not that Harrington doesn’t value my prowess in SAHM-y skills; it’s just that he doesn’t get what it takes to take care of a house and kids. I don’t know why this should bother me. My friend Ali at Sunrise Rants talked about living in a village. I totally get this.
3. The Male Ego is tough to crack. I will not bore you with all the tedious details of the arguments surrounding the prepping of the Treasure Sale. Let’s just say that when I want something done around here and it’s put off or done as quickly as possible with little concern to quality, I take it personally. This is my “office,” and when it comes to certain things, please just respect the way that I do it. Don’t let your ego get in the way. I feel like there is little talk of the Female Ego. . . probably because it went out the window when giving birth. The whole mothering, nurturing thing leaves little room for an ego. The birthing process, nursing, being pooped on, vomited on, calming irrational fears, learning the special patience that is required to put up with little ones – all that destroys the ego so the heart can grow and give the Babes what they need. That in turn takes a lot out of me. So if I need a little extra support, be it emotional or manual labor, to get through a tough day or an extra duty such as the Treasure Sale, I feel it should be given. Without reservation.
So, yeah, who knew I would find these gems right alongside my old papasan chair (my first piece of furniture I bought all on my own for my new apartment) and Wizard of Oz poster (from my childhood room).
Because this is going to take some time, I probably won’t get to posting for Feel Good Friday or comment much on your blogs. But I will be back next week!
Wish me luck!