Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Very Special Thanksgiving Edition: My Words are Just as Tasty as Thanksgiving Dinner

There is a lot to be thankful for this year. I am thankful my husband has a job (no easy feat in Michigan). I am thankful for my two great babes and their periods of good health and always thankful it’s not been too serious. I am thankful for Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew. (I absolutely LOVE that show! My favorite cast member is Phil Varone. I love how he said he had a normal childhood and then during art therapy, we learn his mom made him do coke. I KNEW there was more to the story). Ah, but I digress.

I have something new to be grateful. I am thankful for the better relationship I have with my mother-in-law. For awhile it was a tumultuous relationship, to say the least. Before I became engaged, it seemed like a non-issue. But shortly after our engagement, she served her ex with his walking papers. Things got a little weird. She was in this new place of working through a divorce and having her son leave the nest. I was trying to plan a wedding under stressful circumstances and figure out married life. (Major life transitions were never my strong suite back then). So things got really ugly for awhile. When Marie was born, it got even worse because she wanted to be a part of her life, but wasn’t taking the steps to mend the relationship with Harrington and me. I could go on and on and on how horrible it was (like thinking to myself that I will NEVER get along with her), but I feel that none of that matters now. We both have worked hard to make things not only bearable, but likable. I mean this woman who was rumored to say some pretty horrible things about me now invites me and Marie to ride the train at Greenfield Village and has had made me dinner. And this other woman who was acted very reactively, has lightened up a bit and doesn’t get all hot and bothered when she does something that is a bit flakey (because it has taken me a LOOONNNGGG time to realize that it wasn’t coming from a hurtful place). Don’t get me wrong, things are not perfect as no relationship ever is. But I feel that she respects my boundaries and because of that I feel that I can let some of those self-preservation walls down.

The funny thing is, neither one of us has mentioned how things are so much better. But I guess some things can just go without saying because my mouth is too full of my delicious words. . .

Happy Thanksgiving!


Anonymous said...

YAY! I'm so happy to hear that news!

Kendra said...

Congratulations! Sometimes we develop terrible habits in relationships, acting thoughtlessly and hurting other people, or assuming other people were being intentionally hurtful when we really weren't on their radar at all. It takes a lot of awareness and a lot of work to change those things, but the rewards are so worth it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Amy said...

It's nice you have a better relationship with your MIL. I currently work for and live with mine, and I'm ready to lose my mind. In all honesty she's a sweet person, but that much time spent with anyone but my husband and son, is just asking for troubl....and mass consumption of wine.

Happy Holidays:)

Mommy on the Spot said...

Kendra, so true!

Amy, if I had to work with anyone in husband's family, it would be bad, bad news. Wine of course!!