I
just returned from my family beach vacation in Myrtle Beach with the kids, the
husband, and my parents. The good times
were the best! The not so good times,
well, I believe I said it best in this Instagram photo:
The Planning Phase
This
phase was done in the dead of winter. I
found a place at Ocean Creek Plantation, the same place I went to as a kid, and
booked it on the 27th snow day in January.
I
knew that we were going to have the best family beach vacation in the history
of family vacations. I pictured Harrington,
the kids, and my parents playing on the beach, laughing and having fun.
Kind
of like when Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation when he was dreaming of
installing his in-ground pool and the amazing time his family was going to
have.
The Payment Phase
This
is when all the money is due. Gulp. There
is no turning back.
We
*will* have the Best! Vacation! Ever!
The Laundry Phase
Staying
on top of the laundry on a regular week is hard enough, let alone packing for a
vacation.
I
considered packing dirty clothes.
The Packing Phase
The
commencement of this phase signified the completion of The Laundry Phase. The elation was brief as I contemplated how
to fit all of those clothes into a carryon due to my self-imposed “no checking
of the bags” rule.
My
triumphant moment of packing the kids’ and my clothes into a single carry-on
occurred in the wee hours of the night before we departed. I celebrated with wine and slept for 4 ½
blissful hours.
The Travel Phase
Yay! It’s finally happening!
As
we manage our four carry-ons plus four personal items plus two car seats, feelings
of excitement quickly turn to feelings of concern: is it possible that we are
this close and won’t be allowed on the plane with all of these bags? Or worse yet, forced to check a bag?
My
concerns about one of the kids having a meltdown shift to my concerns about me
having a meltdown.
The Beginning Phase of Vacation
I
am here! I am finally at the beach!! I am so happy!! Everyone is happy!
For
a brief moment.
The Despair Phase
As
we settled into our daily beach routine, Thomas acted like I was torturing him
by depriving him of his iPad.
The
withdrawal of technology combined with Thomas’s hatred of doing new things
(unless they are his idea) made me feel like a horrible parent. How could I be raising a child like
this?
Blue
Moon and Kleenex, you may have seen a surge in your sales.
You’re
welcome.
Take Control Phase
I
needed to regain control of this family fun vacation ASAP. Luckily this is when I stumbled across Wendi
Aaron’s Facebook status update about her post on summer camps we wished existed. Too Much Mouse in the House Camp scared them
both to tears. I told them there was one
about Quitting Screen Time. I had never
seen such terror in their eyes, not even that one time when they googled “Is
Blood Mary real?” and found scary videos that gave them nightmares for months.
I
do not usually advocate parenting by fear, but I seized this moment to put our fun
family vacation back on track.
The
next morning, we went to the beach in our jammies and find seashells.
No one complained about lack of screen time or wanting to watch The Disney Channel.
No one complained about lack of screen time or wanting to watch The Disney Channel.
Boom.
Success.
The Acceptance Phase
This
family fun beach vacation is clearly not going as planned.
I
accept that I need to manage my expectation.
I
accept that Thomas can’t hack it all day at the beach. I also accept that Marie can spend all day at
the ocean, but her fair skin cannot.
I
accept my parenting mistakes.
I
accept that traveling with kids is hard.
So very hard. So hard it brought
me to tears several times. But I love to
travel; it does something magical to my soul, and I want to instill that love
into my kids. So I accept the hardships
because I have faith that it will get easier and more fun the more times we
travel together.
The Mourning Phase
The
bad parts of the trip begin to fade from my memory, and I felt sad that it is
over.
Despite
all the drama, I was grateful to connect with my kids in a way that is
difficult to do at home with the distractions of daily life and thankful for
the time I spent with my parents.
I
wanted to keep that part of vacation, so I started making promises to myself.
I
promise not to get lost in laundry. I promise no to get lost in the buzzing of
work emergencies. I promise to parent
more mindfully.
Most
of all, I promise to get a handle on our freewheeling screen time.
What
are your family vacations like? Please share
your real moments in the comments so I feel less alone about the chaos.
41 comments:
This rang so true. I couldn't wait to read it, as I knew it was coming~ and it didn't disappoint!
I laughed out loud at several points, and shed a tear at my own feelings of mourning; the dashed expectations, not being able to share the soul singing excitement and newness of travel, thinking "who are these people!" and feeling like I just can't relate to my kids. I have collected so many of these experiences, and it feels strangely selfish to enjoy your story!
Why does no one warn us about these parenting pitfalls? It seems like something our mothers would have mentioned while seeing us prepare and plan such trips. Are our kids so different to parent than we were?
Your story will be a comfort and hopefully a cautious tale to others about setting expectations, being able to roll with changes in the plan, and accepting that maybe what brings us the MOST joy, isn't always what floats others' boat. (I still can't comprehend this one at times!)
As I draw closer to the end of my "child" parenting, I have seen glimmers of what I have instilled in my kids. One will suggest a picnic, and try to convince me to take the afternoon off by painting a picture perfect scene of how it will go, just as I would have imagined it. One will suddenly announce his longing for our screen-less cabin up north. He could have had the house to himself, but asked off work to go with us. These glimmers suggest that maybe my kids do have the same open-minded love for adventure that I have tried (tirelessly) to give them.
I enjoyed this so much, thank you!
You're bringing up memories of all my family vacations when I was young! There was definitely a lot of squabbling between us kids, but ultimately I think we usually had a good time. We never made it to Myrtle Beach, but I'm planning on getting out there this fall. It seems like a long overdue trip. Is there anything specific I should check out while I'm there?
Hi, Jane!
I just saw this comment, and the only thing I would recommend packing is sunblock!
But even if you forget that, there are plenty of stores to find it.
Be sure to check out Barefoot Landing. We love that place!
What a wonderful experience you would have when you had a beach vacation.
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