No Longer Full-Time Stay-At-Home Mom

I have a big announcement – 

*takes deep breath*

I have a part-time job teaching social media for marketing at a local business college.  It’s one class, one time a week for four hours. 

I’ve been shadowing the current teacher for the whole semester, and she has generously shared her lesson plans, rubrics, and power point presentations with me.

I am excited that I have an opportunity to combine my passion for social media with my former life as a teacher.  I think that teaching adults will be different than teaching teenagers.  I am relieved that I will not be reading essays and trying to decipher the meaning amidst horrendous grammar errors.  I am also super excited to wear real work clothes, not my uniform of black yoga pants and black long-sleeved T-shirt!

So why have I taken so long to make this exciting announcement?

I’m nervous.  Really nervous.

Getting in front of a class full of students (possibly in in an auditorium with a microphone) is not the major source of my anxiety.  It’s the total shift in my identity that I will not be a full-time stay-at-home mom.  I am accountable to someone else.

For example, I was not home the night before Thomas had his surgery.  Marie was in a fit of tears knowing that I wouldn’t put her down for night time nor would I be there in the morning since Thomas’s surgery was so early in the morning.  Even though my husband, their father, was there to tuck them in at night, I felt like the worst mother in the history of motherhood.

I know it’s only one night a week, but I remember how caught up I got in grading papers and making lesson plans when I taught junior high.  I also had a long list of reasons that teaching had left a sour taste in my mouth:  the lack of support from administration, the pressure to add additional duties like coaching and heading the English Department, the helicopter parents that fueled the self-entitlement culture, etc.

I’ve already made it clear that I am a mom.  When I went to sign some papers, I asked if it was OK to bring Thomas.  I was told it was totally fine since it was super informal, and I was just signing a few papers.

While an administrator and I sat in a conference room, Thomas waved his bag of M & M’s in my face.  While we were discussing the minor detail of salary, he proceeded to ask me how M & M’s are made while dropping them all over the floor.  Because he’s not particular about germs, he sat under the table and ate all of the candy off of the floor.

If that doesn’t say I’m not climbing the corporate ladder, I don’t know what does.

Here’s the thing: I’m interested in creating a career in which I can work mostly from home.  This seems like a great next step in creating a platform from which to jump when Thomas is in school full-time.  (Did I mention that I can make this class a hybrid class of online/ traditional class time)?

I know I should not be freaking out over one night a week and just enjoy an evening in grownup clothes doing grownup stuff.  And I’m sure I will. 

Right?

Right?!

I don’t usually do this, but any words of encouragement or positive perspective you can add about working part time while being a full time mom would be greatly appreciated.