Thursday, October 14, 2010


I used to hate Change. Not just hate, but detest Change, cringe whenever things were not the same. If Change were a person walking down the street, I would avoid all eye contact and ignore it.

After having kids, I’ve learned to accept change. Because whether I like it or not, it’s going to happen. So Change and I became like Facebook friends; acknowledging each other but not really committing to a real relationship. Eventually that relationship evolved, and I would say Change and I are pretty friendly with each other. Especially when Change means less sleepless night.

However, there are certain circumstances when I want to revert to my prior relationship with Change and look away when it comes near.

Like when my Aunt Nicki and Uncle Ned sold their house in Michigan to live in Arizona for six months. I didn’t expect to become so emotional when I found out, but I did. I have so many wonderful memories in that house.

Like the time when I was sixteen and home all alone overnight. I thought I heard something, and they didn’t mind that it was midnight when I came over because I was scared.

I also learned to make golumpki (stuffed cabbage) from my grandmother’s recipe at her kitchen table. I also gained a whole new appreciate for the effort put forth for our traditional Christmas entrĂ©e.

I will miss the Heritage Hallway. There was a hallway filled with old pictures of my aunt and uncle’s family. Whenever I would look at these photos, I felt connected to my family, especially my grandfather, who passed away long before I was born.

Aunt Nicki hosted my bridal shower at her house and worked together with my parents and other aunts and uncles to create a beautiful party. And the next day, I went to Aunt Nicki’s house to visit with her and Aunt Karen. I remember eating a giant bowl of cherries and just chatting with them. Something so simple, but so memorable.

I also remember the time when Aunt Nicki and Uncle Ned came over to see me after Marie was born. She made homemade chicken soup and chocolate biscotti. A few weeks later, she helped me bring Marie, only six weeks old, to get an ultrasound of her head.

I remember feeling totally comfortable dropping Marie off so Aunt Nicki and Uncle Ned could watch Marie while I emptied out my former classroom with my Dad. She was only 3 months old.

When Thomas was born, she came to see us and then dropped everything to watch Marie when there was a change in childcare plans.

I am not sure if Aunt Nicki and Uncle Ned know how much those moments mean to me.

It’s like this part of me and my family story is moving away, and it makes me sad. When someone in the family network moves away, left behind is a gap. I look back at all those important times in my life and realize the richness they have added to my life.

So instead of being sad because she won’t be in that home anymore, I am going to adopt a new saying. Instead of saying, “Home is where the heart is,” I am going to change it to “Heart is home to our memories.”

That house is not theirs anymore, but it doesn’t matter, because we all still have those memories with us. They have done so many nice things for me and my family that I want to show my appreciation and support by cheering them on in this new chapter of their life.

Because that’s what family does.


New York Mama said...

I can sooo relate to ALL your feelings re change!!!!!! I still for the most part HATE CHANGE too!!! Beautiful article! Can also relate to all your feelings regarding that particular change and all the changes in our lives and families. I'm thankful we will still have Nicki & Ned in our lives to create different memories!
The changes I have the most difficult time getting over (& perhaps never will) are the permanent ones, loosing loved ones. Sometimes the memories in the heart aren't enough for dealing with those changes, but we do our best .

Beverly@Beverly's Back Porch said...

Beautiful post! Change is good most of the time. It makes us grow and appreciate the things we have and the things that are to come. Maybe a trip to Arizona?

Mom et al said...

Beautiful words, my friend! I had a similar experience with family moving away. I am sad they are no longer in the area, but these are family trips that I look forward to the most when go to visit. In reverse, the celebrations we have when they come up our way are some of the best times we've ever had.

Just think, it may be different and no where near as often, but you will still find ways to see each other. And there are many more memories to be made.