And I think guilt is fueling the fear fire. Here is a list of things that makes me feel guilty:
-Guilty for doing something that I love would get in the way of being a good mom. (I know this is ridiculous because there are plenty of good moms out there doing things that are self-fulfilling).
-Guilty that I get to stay home with my kids AND do something that I love while my husband is out there wishing he could spend more time with the kids and doing a job that isn’t in love with.
-Guilty that being a mom, although is great and awesome, is not enough to make me feel like a full, well-rounded human being.
So why bother even writing a post about this? I could have flown under the radar without anyone being any of the wiser of my evil plan to kill my dream. I mean, the truth of the situation was barely visible to even me. I feel if it’s out there, then it’s not in my brain taking up valuable real estate needed for more productive things like, I don’t know, focusing on finishing my article?! Plus, it’s about accountability. If I admit to self-sabotaging in a public forum, then I have to be accountable to change it.
So instead of hiding behind grocery shopping and taking Marie to her yoga class on Saturday, I am going to stay home and finish my article. Wish me luck!
So, Friends, what are your fears?