First of all, I would love to thank you for your words of encouragement in my new endeavor. The writing group was very interesting, and I plan on going back next month. This was the Women’s Group, an offshoot of the main group. That one meets every week, and I am going to check it out. What do I have to lose? You know, since pride is overrated and all. .
But seriously, thank you for all your support. I went into blogging as a way to keep my stay-at-home-mom mind sharp, and maybe, just maybe take a baby step or two towards actually doing something with writing. I also hoped it would be a way for me to process my experiences in motherhood. I never expected to connect with people that are so warm, encouraging, and supportive. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
So I am going to continue on this path of blogging and going to writing groups and see what happens. If nothing more, I feel like it helps me to be more, well, me. It’s kind of hard to explain. Although I feel staying home with my Babes is the right choice for me, I didn’t expect to feel so alone, which is kind of ironic because I am never alone. Not even when I go to the bathroom. I kind of feel sad that being a SAHM-y doesn’t fulfill my every need, and therefore, I feel guilty I want to do a little something on the side that’s all mine. Why is that?? Why should I feel guilty about taking time to do something that makes me feel alive and creative and fills my tank up so I having something to give my Babes? Seriously, why?
Writing has always given me a chance to get in touch with what was going on with me (even when I was a wee girl of seven years of age writing my deep thoughts in my teddy bear diary, complete with lock and key) . And even though I have to fight the urge to plant my ass in front of the TV after a hard day’s and night’s and day’s and night’s (well, you get the picture) work, I know that that will only make me feel depressed. And I rather not go down that road again. Ever. (Note to self, don’t forget to blog about the time you sat on the couch and cried almost every day for four months). Maybe that seventeen year old girl was on to something when she filled out “author” on her What Do I Want To Do When I Grow Up form given to her by her high school counselor. Well, either that or my next plan may be to pursue a career in the funeral home businesses since my aptitude test said I would be an excellent funeral home director. (No joke, my results actually said I would be a good funeral home director. Ironically, I worked for a secretary at a pet crematorium for a short time in college. Anyway . . .)
Thanks, Friends, for being so awesome!!
(And seriously, I’d love to hear why moms feel guilty filling up their tanks. And more importantly, what should one do to do to overcome those feelings).