tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-478024514640293628.post3247742583522732143..comments2024-03-27T03:18:45.483-04:00Comments on Mommy on the Spot: A Word About Relationships and the HolidaysErin Janda Rawlingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05229345691660629985noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-478024514640293628.post-19338789519472150492010-12-06T15:20:14.377-05:002010-12-06T15:20:14.377-05:00This is beautifully expressed. I keep reminding my...This is beautifully expressed. I keep reminding myself that all my relationships out there in the world are really about my relationship with myself.<br /><br />I love the idea of not trying to change anyone, just accepting where they are. I have one problematic relationship in particular and I am accepting that it is what it is and I can send positive energy to both of us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-478024514640293628.post-71953064740798974552010-12-02T12:36:38.870-05:002010-12-02T12:36:38.870-05:00I have decided to spend the Christmas holiday with...I have decided to spend the Christmas holiday with only my husband and son. On Christmas eve we'll get together with my in laws so the kids can open gifts. But Christmas morning is all ours.<br /><br />My family is just...too stressful to even throw into the mix. Like you, I have let go of letting this fact make me feel bad. It is what it is.<br /><br />Have a wonderful Christmas honey:)Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12696402847816358849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-478024514640293628.post-8976798516965517502010-12-01T22:18:39.965-05:002010-12-01T22:18:39.965-05:00Oh Oh OH, I love this! You said it exactly right, ...Oh Oh OH, I love this! You said it exactly right, which is amazing considering how often people try to articulate what it is exactly that makes the holidays so bittersweet. But you are right. And I agree. It is time, finally, to let some of those expectations go. And to be okay with it. <br />This was just what I needed to hear these days. Thank you, thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-478024514640293628.post-63050380652180954232010-12-01T20:27:44.718-05:002010-12-01T20:27:44.718-05:00The Girl, 7 days?! That could seem like an eterni...The Girl, 7 days?! That could seem like an eternity! Any tips to make it painless?Erin Janda Rawlingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05229345691660629985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-478024514640293628.post-1219562116994701342010-12-01T20:26:42.529-05:002010-12-01T20:26:42.529-05:00Annie, that's a really positive way to look at...Annie, that's a really positive way to look at it. Because I really struggle with this. But if I look at it just as once, it might be easier.<br /><br />Aunt Diane, that sounds like a fascinating study! And awesome that you did what you had to do to take care of yourself.Erin Janda Rawlingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05229345691660629985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-478024514640293628.post-57576168992297289362010-12-01T16:39:02.961-05:002010-12-01T16:39:02.961-05:00Ooh, Aunt Diane, thank you for that tidbit! I fee...Ooh, Aunt Diane, thank you for that tidbit! I feel so much better with the idea that a moderate amount of self centeredness in my age group is biological! I wonder if I can make that work for me with my husband...!Fiorellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03551811173719116966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-478024514640293628.post-84541151691569727942010-11-30T18:23:11.864-05:002010-11-30T18:23:11.864-05:00We have it pretty good. We had to deal with one p...We have it pretty good. We had to deal with one person for the past 7 days, but now it is over. We just try to get through it as painlessly as possible.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-478024514640293628.post-74058104905734747352010-11-30T11:23:28.552-05:002010-11-30T11:23:28.552-05:00So well put! I learned at an early age to clear &q...So well put! I learned at an early age to clear "cluttered" relationships out of my life...honestly as a means of emotional survival. <br /><br />Fiorella - I'm in my 50s and it really does happen! And the guilt goes away. I read an article in a science magazine that addressed how hormone changes bring a woman from a "nurturing" focus to a "what about me?" focus so I like the think of it as a natural change I should embrace!<br /><br />Another great post!<br /><br />Aunt DianeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-478024514640293628.post-57648979085070328502010-11-30T10:19:40.737-05:002010-11-30T10:19:40.737-05:00Wise! Someone once told me I would hit 40 and sto...Wise! Someone once told me I would hit 40 and stop feeling the need to do things because of a sense of OBLIGATION. Well, I'll be 40 in two months, and in just the past couple of weeks, I said "no" to three things I normally would have done out of a sense of obligation. I haven't gotten good at it yet, becuase I still feel guilty for saying no. But eventually, the guilt will wear thin and a happier, lighter me will emerge on the other side. Why do I mention this here? Because when you wrote of relationships where you feel as though you put in a maxium of effort, that reminds me of some of my relationships that aren't "easy" but in which I put forth so much effort because of the other party's neediness. I can't promise I won't backslide, but I am going to do better at clearing out some of the stuff I just don't want to do out of my life!Fiorellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03551811173719116966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-478024514640293628.post-62841714344604967472010-11-30T10:08:14.352-05:002010-11-30T10:08:14.352-05:00This is wonderfully expressed. Most people (mysel...This is wonderfully expressed. Most people (myself included) would discuss this as the 'drama' that can arise during the holidays, but your description is much more accurate...and a little easier to swallow. Well, I guess it is hard to swallow at first, but you only have to swallow this level of understanding ONE TIME, rather than continue to deal with hurtful family gatherings each year. It that makes sense? In any event, thanks for this post. :)Anniehttp://www.realmommychronicles.comnoreply@blogger.com