Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Tasmanian Devil vs. Mama Bear











I tried to think of clever and entertaining ways to evict these ramblings from my mind and make room for new tenants, but I couldn’t. The thing is that I’m too upset and the situation is too fresh for any witty repartee. (And no, not The Situation, although his punk ass would be way easier to handle).

There’s a person who I’m forced to co-exist with, and I do not like it. At all. This person’s energy is like a freakish cyclone, not in a physical way, but in a manipulative, pushy kind of way. I would describe this overwhelming and domineering person to the Tasmanian Devil. I’m not usually a sheep that follows the herd, but in the person’s presence, I’ve been known to exhibit some uncharacteristic behavior, such as putting my credit card number on sketchy websites or committing to social events that were not in the best interest in my family. All because I allowed myself to get swept up in the Taz’s flurry of energy. I started to notice this was getting out of control when Taz was getting all self-entitled and ownership-y with my babes. MY BABES!! My Mommy Alarm System started sounding off, subtly at first and then LOUD, RED FLASHING ALARMS AND LIGHTS. Taz met its match when it messed with Mama Bear. Then I started to say no. Often, but not in a confrontational way (because I knew it would be wasted breath, and I just wanted some space without a discussion). I redefined my personal boundaries and honored my gut feelings. However, recently, I started to let this person back in because I thought my shiny, new, boundaries were not only strong enough, but were clearly communicated. My hope was we could move forward in a healthier direction. So I give an inch, and Taz wants the whole damn mile. Or 10. Or whatever. That’s when it occurred to me that Taz might have a hard time hearing with all that spinning and destruction.
So to put it bluntly, I’m pissed. I’m pissed that Taz can’t or won’t understand personal space and comfort zones. I’m pissed that a Mama Bear doing her job looks like The Bitch. I’m even more pissed that I care how I am perceived.

So there, People, Mama Bear is angry. So angry, it’s blocking my creative juices from flowing. ROAR! Now excuse me while I either harmoniously work out with my Wii Sports Active Trainer or defy her by indulging my anger in some Ben and Jerry’s Marzipan Mission ice cream.

Please, People, offer me some words of enlightenment on how you deal with your own personal Tasmanian Devil!

16 comments:

Amy said...

Girl! I think we have the same damn Taz friend! Freaky!

Over a month ago my friend made a snarky comment about not coming over to drink wine with her after work. I explained I was tired, had to get home to the baby and my hubs, but still she was bitchy.

Usually I would let this go. But this time it pissed me off. So I snapped back, and then she snapped back, and long story short we haven't spoken in almost a month.

I've never felt better! She's a high maintenace friend that even in college gave me a hard time for wanting to hang out with my boyfriend (now husband). She was so possessive, like a jealous lover!!

Now, she's stuck in an unhappy marriage and she's pulling the same stunts as college.

I should also mention that I am a HIGHLY passive person! I loathe confrontation, and seek the approval of EVERYONE!

But this time, I'd had enough. Not sure if we'll ever get back on track, but seriously who needs friends that damn needy??

Sorry, this was the longerst comment ever! Good luck with that crazy Taz!!!

Kendra said...

How upsetting! My oldest is 6, and I still feel like I'm new to parenting. There's always a new situation where I feel like I have to stand up for my kid or my parenting or some other Mama Bear kind of situation, and given that I hate confrontation more than almost anything else (damage to my kids being the only thing that comes to mind), I tend to find that my fear of taking a stand fights with my fear of being perceived negatively. And then I feel guilty for worrying about how I'm perceived, but that's a whole other cycle.

I'm so sorry about the Taz situation. And I'm sorry for any time you feel like you have to justify your decisions.

Erin Janda Rawlings said...

Amy, good for for standing your ground!

Kendra, that is totally how I'm feeling! Thank you for your words of enlightenment!!

Kim Murray said...

Been there, done that, too many times. Sometimes we give people too much power over our own emotions. Why? You are in charge of you. Who cares what anyone else thinks? Take back your power. Repeat the mantra to yourself that Tasmanian Devil is limited and accept her limitations (easier said than done, I know!) But, I do have to repeat my own mantras daily. Some people are just limited, that's all. It's up to you if you let their limitations limit you.

Erin Janda Rawlings said...

Thanks, Kim!

Unknown said...

have you tried ignoring him? Ok, probably not. The other option is to ACT LIKE HIM....that might shock him.

dearheart said...

Hmmm. This is big stuff. If Taz is a friend that you value but nonetheless is causing you to hurt, my advice is to tell her what you need (and don't need). I have few close-to-sister like friendships. One friendship in particular reached that level during a very painful period in my life when my friend wasn't giving me what I needed and I told her so. She heard me and changed her behavior. It became a milestone moment of our friendship and it all depended on my revealing my vulnerabilities. Good luck for sure.

~Laura said...

So tough. I am a huge pushover, people pleaser. However, if it comes down to interfering with my children at all, I find the strength to just cut that behavior. It seems like that is your breaking point also. You just need to go back to your boundaries and admit that this time, no matter what that person seems like, you are not going to take them down.

Anonymous said...

Do I have to cut a b-tch? Let me at Taz!!!

Erin Janda Rawlings said...

Anonymous, are you really Kathy Griffin?! God, I love you, both!!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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