Being a parent is hard. Logistically speaking, it’s a lot of packing lunches and snacks, cloning myself so I can simultaneously be at both a T-ball game and swim practice. But that’s just the surface. These kids are watching every single thing I do. I feel a lot of pressure to not just talk the talk, but also walk the walk.
I don’t like to say eat vegetables, and then never eat a carrot stick myself. I don’t feel right to talk about the importance of reading and never open up a book.
I can’t say pick out an appropriate Halloween costume and then choose to be a sexy Olaf. (Seriously, click on this link if you want to be horrified by a sexy snowman).
This year, Harrington and I were invited to an adult costume party. At first, I didn’t think too much about picking a costume since dressing up for Halloween is not my jam. But Marie took it upon herself to find research costumes for us.
No surprise that every. single. costume. was sexy. A sexy flapper. A sexy Red Riding hood. A sexy zombie. A sexy Beetlejuice. Really, a sexy Beetlejuice? The costume had a corset with a super short skirt. That’s not Beetlejuice at all!
|courtesy of Party City|
I was frustrated on many levels. I was frustrated that these costumes didn’t really register with Marie as gratuitously sexy (which I guess is a good thing when I really think about it). When I looked at the costumes in the junior section, the same ones Marie will pick from in a year or two, I felt nothing less than rage-y.
That is when I decided to take this Halloween costume dilemma into my own hands. I needed to show Marie that a catalog filled with sexy costumes does not dictate what I should wear.
I dressed as Katniss, the strong female character from the HungerGames series. I wore my work out clothes bought a mockingjay pin and a bow. I didn’t fall for the sexy huntress that I could have easily bought. (Who hunts in a short skirt and stiletto heel boots)?! Harrington dressed as Peeta. He wore his black warm-ups, and I made him a District 12 sign to wear.
I know that I am not alone in this war against sexy costumes. I love the conversation Angela from Jumping with Your Fingers Crossed had with her daughter about feminism and her Halloween costume choice. I hope that one day Marie and I will have an organic conversation about this because I feel very strongly that a woman should not be valued according to how cute she looks in a sexy corn costume. (Seriously, corn. Go home corporate Halloween costume creators, you’re drunk).
I know feminism is all about choice; if that choice is to dress sexy, that is a valid choice. However, if a girl or a woman wants to dress up as a firefighter, her only choice is a sexy firefighter. So it’s not really a choice at all. By not putting any other costumes on the market other than sexy ones, I feel that girls are being told this is the only way to be. I don't want Marie thinking that her only choice is to be sexy, and I don't want Thomas to think that is what he should expect from women.
Changing the world by taking on corporate America seems impossible at this time since I have a hard time remembering changing my sheets. But I could show Marie by example that she didn't have to feel bound to the choices that someone (probably a room full of guys) thought were a good idea.
I don't know if it will ever register that their mom made a choice that exuded dignity, but hopefully it will be filed away for another time (and never look twice at the sexy corn costume).
What are your thoughts on sexy Halloween costumes?